Critiquing Film, Television, and More

The Nun Tries and Fails to Replicate the Horror/Comedy Genius of the Evil Dead Franchise

Shoutout to the guy who kept on saying, “Oh hell no,” whenever the Nun appeared. Shoutout to the young lady who giggled at all the jump scares. And last but certainly not least, shoutout to the random girl who screamed “ew” when—in the movie—a random, guy character spits on the ground. My main highlights during this screening’s ordeal. 

The Nun is by no means abominable, it’s just—put clearly and quickly—evidently uninteresting. It’s a competently well-made, empty shell of tedious horror cliches that we’ve seen numerous times throughout the ages. This includes—but is not limited to—stale jump scares, formulaic scenarios we’ve seen plentiful times within Conjuring/Devil-Themed movies, cringe-worthy comedic levity (?), and even MORE crosses turning upside down!

The cinematography is pretty bleach and artificial especially in outdoor sequences. Keep your films dark and dim Conjuring films, or do the outdoor scenes without making it look like a foggy CGI cartoon.

The film’s story alone, kind of just relies on being spontaneous—meaning nothing logistical happens, it just “happens” for reasons unheard of. The only somewhat fearsome feature in this movie is the Nun character, who has some of the finest prosthetics/makeup-design on and furthermore, when there’s lighting/cinematography brought into the portrait of her presence, it’s striking. 

There’s some sturdy, adequate moments woven in every once in a while, but the final product is conclusively just a dull, snoozy case of mediocreness. The Nun—put simply once again—is meatless; there’s absolutely nothing supporting it up besides the fact that it’s in the Conjuring universe so people will go pay money to experience it for (grievously) that reason alone—or because they saw those controversial ADs on YouTube which stirred up the intrigue-pot—plus Warner Bros Studios wants to make an extra, quick buck off of their property’s superfluous cinematic universe. Sinful. (Verdict: C-) 

Jonas Bloquet needs to play a young Nicholas Cage in his future biopic ASAP. 

Also, shoutout to the out of place Tarantino, Django Unchained, rapid zoom-shot which was utilized during the most climactic (and serious) moment in the film. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

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