Critiquing Film, Television, and More

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald is an Embarrassment to the Franchise

I find it grievously sorrowful that being a colossal fan of Harry Potter—considering I grew up with the books, movies, etc. and saw Philosopher’s Stone 362 times on TV as a child—I had scarcley to no anticipation for Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. This could be due to the fact that the first Fantastic Beasts—while certainly not bad nor even mediocre—was kind of just a nameless, yet, amusing entry in J.K. Rowling’s saga. 

So conclusively, I didn’t have virtually any expectations going into this new Wizarding flick, besides having the accustomed mindset that it’d at least curve out to be “decent.” 

“Psyche!” – Warner Bros.

Who would’ve guessed that the newest HARRY POTTER MOVIE would be the most boring—not necessarily the worst—movie of the year? Like…how? Y’all have got to be damn talented to somehow make such a magnificently splendid and enticingly alluring crafted universe seem so manifestly tiresome? Trust me, Fantastic Beast 2 is a SNOOZEFEST.  

J.K. Rowling, I know you and I have an on an off relationship. Let’s face it, I appreciate the world you’ve constructed for all of us; You’re basically the co-creater to some of my most fondest childhood’s memories. But… sometimes…you can get a little kooky with your work—and your public influence but I won’t dive into that due to the controversial incentives behind it. This screenplay Rowling…it’s not working for me, and based on most reactions I’ve witnessed, it’s not working for most critics/audiences/fans.

There is no proper reason for this movie to exist in terms of how it impacts the lore. You could literally release Fantastic Beasts 3 today, erase or “obliviate” my memory of seeing Crimes of Grindelwald, and I probably wouldn’t be too thickly, disoriented in the storyline. This movie is a spree of superfluous, aimless, and furthermore, disconcerting, expositional information, which on top of that, happens while way too many side-plots are all cooccurring at once. The filmmakers here have managed to make so much appear like so little. Now, that’s some real magic, ay?  

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald needed at least thirty-two more cuts until it should’ve been distributed. It’s a messy, messy, messy mess of a blockbuster. Glad to see that we’ve officially shattered the streak of never having a “bad” Harry Potter movie. (I raise my glass) Here’s to you, the studio who made this garbage pail of a catastrophe happen! Cheers! (Verdict: D)

Not gonna lie though, but the one time I was genuinely fastened onto a scene in this movie was towards the finale when Johnny Depp delivers this weighty monologue. Kind of dope. My man. 

Also, the special effects are quite pretty, but then again, what did you expect? 

I almost removed an entire half star from this movie purely because of the abundance of freakin’ utilizations of close-up shots during the first twenty minutes. Smart decision stopping that BS afterwords. Smart decision indeed. 

I sort of feel like rewatching all the Harry Potter films now, just so I can secure a festive refresh. MAN THEY ARE SO GOOD! Hmm…possible candidate for my next series of reviews?

This Movie Is A Part Of My List: Ranking The Harry Potter Movies From Best To Worst 

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