After almost three long years, I have finally finished watching Twin Peaks. Sorry, I just like to savor my treats for as long as possible, darlings.
In a parallel universe lies a distinct copy of Riverdale that is so godly, so dreamy, so A-1 classy, so unworldly unalike, and actually, well, a good show, that those in our current universe/dimension would never, ever reckon it to be real.
This entity is called Twin Peaks: a television show about excessively dramatic teenagers dealing with the death of a beloved, teenaged girl, the trauma of an unhinged family, the tensions between apprehensive, romantic relationships, the business of a hotel so curiously sketched with history that it’ll have you in utter contemplation of the thought, “man, can I get a room there?”, and the comradery of a police/FBI duo-team so likable and so pleasant that it will abruptly make for one of the best cinematic series of all freakin’ time. Lynch will force-fry a philosophy textbook right before your eyes yet, you won’t even blink for a second despite its ostentatious nature. It can be inferred that you will rather be enlightened by these peculiarities.
Top Twin Peaks Characters:
1. Dale Cooper
2. Audrey Horne
3. Andy Brennan (AKA, God)
4. Leland Palmer
5. Sheriff Harry Truman
6. Lucy Moran
7. Director Gordon Cole (David Lynch!)
8. The Giant
I only really need four things in my life: movies, unlimited access to 70s classic rock hits, a hard copy of The Catcher in the Rye, and any streaming service that features Breaking Bad and the first two seasons of Twin Peaks. A lover would be a secondary necessity, I suppose.
Twin Peaks Math:
Season 1 Episode 1 = A+
Season 1 Episodes 2-8 = A
Season 2 Episode 1 = A
Season 2 Episodes 2-6 = A-
Season 2 Episodes 7-9 = A+
Season 2 Episode 10 = A-
Season 2 Episodes 11-17 = C+
Season 2 Episodes 18-20 = A-
Season 2 Episodes 21-22 = A+
Mean Verdict: A
Audrey, Donna, and Shelly are the most beautiful women of all-time (put an emphasis on Audrey though). But, I shall not leave out the men in this equation; Detective Dale Cooper is also the ultimate SNACK.
“I can’t stop snapping my fingers because of this damn show.” – Everybody
“Twin Peaks” is now available to stream on Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, and CBS.
Burning the Celluloid 
Published by