Critiquing Film, Television, and More

Twin Peaks The Return (2017): The Perfect Sequel 25 Years Later

David Lynch’s 2017 sequel to the 90s television phenomena Twin Peaks, is something so deviant and outright irregular it’d be best to just go in and see it than continuously hear and read about it. It is so nauseating to even finely describe how this extraterrestrial operation made me feel and the visual storytelling that accompanied it. So yeah, stop reading this review and go ahead and experience one of the greatest amalgamations of television art. F*** whatever I have to say and get your darn priorities straight, people!

So, in the case that you are still reading my review rather than listening to my advice, here are some key points you should know before diving into The Return:

  • If the Coen Brothers’ No Country for Old Men was stretched out into a TV show and David Lynch directed it, it would be The Return. So, expect much slower pacing than the original. It’s rewarding and sensationally numbing though in the end, trust me.
  • At first, you may be demented or upset by Agent Cooper’s new persona. He’ll be called “Dougie Jones” throughout the entire show, and he may seem too imprudently harebrained to be true. However, I assure you, he will magically transform into your new favorite Twin Peaks character. Lynch has managed to make a fifty-year-old man come off like a precious, huggable, cuddly teddy bear. His bits added so much comedic relief to this mindscrew of a show.
  • The Return is borderline “horror.” So…have a blanket on you…or a friend by your side.
  • You will hate the ending. At least, at first. It is a twisted and sinister move upon us fans. Let it sink in for a couple of days, weeks, maybe even months before setting your opinion on it. It alters the whole entire Twin Peaks story into a new perspective and you must decide whether it’s worthy to the show’s typical quality, or if it’s an absolute diss on the show’s legacy, or if it’s possibly the greatest finale of television ever. You decide.

Objectively Twin Peaks: The Return is the better TV show when compared to its predecessor. When it comes to personal taste though, I prefer Mark Frost and David Lynch’s original 89’-90’ classic. I think the original also still beholds the three best TV episodes of the entire series. The Return, however, is by far the more consistent, artistic, and concisely organized narrative. Every sequence serves a purpose and every moment feels vital within its contribution to this unworldly town Lynch have masterfully birthed. This truly is, ladies and gentleman, the peak of television. Hahaha. Get it? Man, I hate myself…

The Return Math:

Parts 1-3 = A+

Part 4 = A

Parts 5-7 = A-

Part 8 = A+

Parts 9-10 = A- 

Part 11 = A

Part 12 = A-

Parts 13-15 = A

Parts 16-17 = A+

Part 18 = A 

Verdict: A

I just realized that David Lynch copied the Tardis effect from Doctor Who whenever the “gas station” or “red curtain” appeared or disappeared. Yep, I hope I ruined it for you now.

No cap, but Courage the Cowardly Dog is the OG Twin Peaks The Return. David Lynch you hack.

“Twin Peaks The Return” is now available to buy and rent on Showtime, Amazon Prime, YouTube, Google Play, and Vudu.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Basic HTML is allowed. Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS

%d bloggers like this: