Ready or Not: A So-So Game of Gore-Infested Pandemonium

Ready or Not is the second entry in the unofficial “The Babysitter, The Wife, and The ???????” trilogy starring up and coming scream queen Samara Weaving. Similar to, well, McG’s The Babysitter, I had fun with this movie despite its conspicuous fractures. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillet’s—directors of the surprisingly good found-footage flick VHS—jab at constructing a fairly well-funded horror/action thriller was an ambivalent venture, to say the least.

 I treasured how the villains in this flick are essentially complete doofuses, considering many antagonistic characters in most horror features always have to spell out to be some devilishly evil person who has a well-thought-out plan that shockingly gets outsmarted by a group of delinquent teens. Here, we’re just treated with this group of rich individuals who seriously don’t know what the hell they’re doing, but they gotta do what they gotta do and they got danger(!) danger(!) dangerous weapons—so watch out! The ironic social commentary of how even the wealthiest or most successful of individuals can be cluelessly vacant of intelligence was also appropriately warranted.

And Samara Weaving. Ugh. Girl needs a raise. 

But if I’m judging Ready or Not plainly from a legitimately non-biased, critical standpoint, this movie has so many issues amongst its writing. The motion picture felt like it could’ve ended about five times, and the plot just kept on devising some cheap way for our hero to dodge close calls so that, duhhhhhh, the movie wouldn’t end so early. Sure, witnessing stupid s### happen for the sake of stupid s### happening was a joy to watch, but the more you tug a loose string to gain my attention, the more I’ll start tugging the stars off of my review of your precious film. Mwahahahaha!

The lusterless cinematography and royalty-free score didn’t help this flick earn any bonus points either.

And if you’re someone who gets easily bothered by the laws of just “common sense,” then don’t seek out this movie, because logic is just a mythical concept in this flick’s universe.

However, my inner horror/thriller/satire fanboy is bouncing up and down exclaiming to me that this movie was an absolute blast. But, the Mr. Movie Critic Ambrose is screaming at me that this movie was just “meh.” So, in rare situations like this, I have two verdicts for the following feature. One is from the persona of the atypical, snobby film reviewer who has way too massive of a Blu-Ray collection, and one is from the tattooed, motorcycle-riding dude who likes to see their horror movies play with just the right amount of thrills to be considered “radical.” Whichever individual you fall under the most should tell you whether you’ll fancy the film or not.

And the ending is arguably the best thing I’ve seen in 2019 thus far. 

The Movie Snob Verdict: C

The Horror Fanboy Verdict: B-

“Ready or Not” is now playing in theaters.

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