It Chapter Two: A Painfully Mediocre Conclusion to a Classic King Story

As the robot gods (Daft Punk) themselves once said, that was toooooooooo long.” And yes, Daft Punk, I could feel it.

In spite of what I thought of It: Chapter 2 as an all-inclusive film of its own, it may be regarded as certain that the blockbuster-ous scope of the scare-and-gag-driven follow-up is something that’s never been done to such an extent in the sphere of horror, and that’s a reasonable pretext to admire the unforeseen task alone. The adult cast is unparalleled just like their adolescent counterparts from Chapter 1—AKA, the Losers of the Losers’ Club—and from time to time it does feel swell to be back in the dewy-eyed town of Derry. But just like what a 27-year-older Mike says in the motion picture, “The good thing about losers is that they have nothing to lose” (which is a philosophy that fits almost too cozy with the continuation), the second chapter of It is a movie that floats its hackneyed-boiled mythos with no ambitions to lose or win over its wide-ranging audience. In an industry that fuels itself on the constant spewing of sequels and reboots, maybe this time around in Stephen King’s cinematic galaxy, some stories and things would’ve been better left alone, never to return to again, like yielding to the nightmarish memories of an entity as traumatically disturbing as IT.

It…killed me to see how painfully mediocre this flick was. It’s detrimentally obnoxious when films present promise but then coward out of them by trying to develop its routes with clichés and banalities—because it’s safer to be sure than sorry (but really, it’s not). Hey, Bill Skarsgård almost saved the movie though! Gotta give it to him, he’s crazy good, even if he’s CGI in 50% of his on-screen moments in Chapter 2.

But like the book and like the original 1990 mini-series, this remake transfers over the same complications I had with the second half of the story involving the adults; it seems to be the impossible to conquer virus amongst this popular narrative. 27 years later, yet, the plot feels all too familiar, and yes that may be the point for it to feel utterly nostalgic, but regardless, it’s still a retread of the children’s story except with Adults and goofy, tangled modules. Like, Indian rituals, themes of believing in yourself, video-game-esc challenges to find your special token? What the what? A child-eating clown monster is already preposterous enough!

And this time around the block, the scares are even denser than before. The movie is so heavy on the comedy that the frights and psychological innuendos become gravely overshadowed. It’s hard to be spooked out when every jump scare is followed up by a quippy joke. And, because it’s a jump scare, period, sooooooooo…

Speaking of quippy, this movie has more elongated set-ups and lore-building than all the Marvel Avengers movies combined, huh? I’m so pleased to see that horror flicks have turned into cinematic-universe-oriented superhero extravaganzas in recent years.

To be completely frank though, I couldn’t care less about what I’ve just watched or whether I wasted my time or not because I’m still just kinda psyched that Xavier Dolan appeared at the beginning of this movie. I love that dude.

Verdict: C

Stephen King Ranked

“It: Chapter Two” is now playing in theaters.

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