Quickie: Hellraiser (1987)

So Hellraiser was…a lot more unique than I expected it to be. Like, I was in no way, shape or form prepared for this slasher feature. This is a really, really strange f****** horror movie. No, not even that. This is just a really f****** weird movie, form of art, however you want to call it. Whatever you’re expecting this cult classic to be, it’ll probably end up being everything that’s not that. Nonetheless, I think I dug the…hell…out of it? Haha.

The score and editing are surprisingly effective and inventive for a supposedly B-rated slasher movie. The props, prosthetics, BDSM-inspired costumes (???), practical effects, and animatronics are gruesomely prolific. The plot is sporadic as heck, but I guess that sort of feeds into the strangeness of this film’s persona. The lore of the Cenobites is pretty fascinating though; I’m not gonna lie. They could legitimately make a solid Lord of the Rings-type, spin-off trilogy around these Guillermo del Toro-ish characters. 

But I don’t know if I support or don’t support this movie’s random message that good dick will always beat a faithful personality. Kind of a weird thing to be preaching in an 80s horror flick. Either way, I won’t be playing with a Rubik’s Cube for quite some time now thanks to Hellraiser.  

Verdict: B 

“Hellraiser” is now available to stream on Vudu, YouTube, Amazon Prime, Google Play, iTunes, Hulu, and Tubi.

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