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Birds of Prey is a Harmless Comic-Book Movie That’s Currently Being Blown Out of Proportion

Warning: The following review is RATED R because some reckless movie reviewing asshole says an unnecessary amount of curse words to emphasize his point on this particular motion picture while also attempting to embody the raunchy stylistic directions of the film’s pizazz. 

Awwwwwww. A completely harmless comic-book half-pie-flick with a ton of blood, guts, and chaos starring a far from unlikable jumpsuit-wearing, sledge-hammering, and trouble-stirring ex-princess of the Clown of Crime, Harley Quinn. Cute! 

Wait, what was that? People are getting…heated…about this movie? What? But, why? Hold up a second, individuals are actually giving a shit that a by-the-numbers, forgettable DC movie has a minor, inconsequential social justice agenda…huh? By showing love or hatred through internet praise or protest? Aye-yai-yai. Hm. Let me take you fellas back to the very beginning from where this all started. 

Hi! My name is Evan Ambrose, but you can just call me Evan. I’m a moderately young writer/filmmaker from San Diego, California and I fancy talking about movies around the clock. But enough about me; that’s not why I brought you citizenries here to talk. I’m here because I want to dig at the roots of why Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn is whipping up a wee pot of controversy. 

Back in the year of 2016, a DEVISTATINGLY hyped-up DCEU movie, also known as the movie that shall not be named, ended up being an utter DISASTER—don’t tell anyone I said this, but that wretched movie is called Suicide Squad. That poor, dear flick additionally happened to be the movie to introduce Margot Robbie’s spectacular interpretation of Harley Quinn, and the film was planned to set up the villainous world of the DC universe. Unfortunately, after the fact that countless had witnessed such a dumpster fire of a motion picture, nobody really desired a sequel or spin-off to the movie that shall not be namedwink wink, Suicide Squad. A couple years later, Birds of Prey was rumored amongst the internet as possibly being a “feminist movie”—GASP. And, as speculation causes, both men and women began not caring about what the actual cinematic (AKA, important) content of the follow-up was going to hopefully feature, but began either getting aggravated or preachy about the likes of a movie being feminist-oriented. 

Now, I have finally gotten to witness the movie myself (and you should too if you’re one of those low-lives who are currently criticizing or applauding a movie before it even comes out) and conclusively, while the movie does cover such topics as misogyny and female empowerment lightly, it is but only a sliver of the cake that feels more tacked onto the final product than it does appear fore-fronting—so quit your bitchin’ and whinin’ and enjoy or don’t enjoy the damn movie as a MOVIE. Okay, FABULOUS! Glad we understand one another now! 

Margot Robbie’s gracious return to the ferocious Harley Quinn character was effortlessly the greatest blessing of Birds of Prey. Unlike recent DC failures such as Suicide Squad and Justice Leauge, this new movie advantageously has a leading character that we can latch onto rather than subconsciously forget. The extroverted, cartoonish style of Birds of Prey is affectionately reminiscent of the zany Harley Quinn comic-books and not only added flavor to the movie’s presentation but will simultaneously please geeky accuracy fans as well. The violent, over-the-top, and creatively designed action sequences were also comically set-up to the point of recapturing the lampoon flair of Harley’s imaginative yet cuckoo world from the source material. Nevertheless, the questionable choreography of these battle scenes is sometimes iffy in its department. For newcomer to the blockbuster business director Cathy Yan, however, the work displayed in Birds of Prey’s colorful presentation is somewhat meritorious. Yipee! 

Sadly, my readers, that is around the extent of Birds of Prey’s value. What absolutely stings this flick in the ass, is, well, a number of things actually. Its aimlessly fucked-up timeline creates unnecessary confusion and degratification. The migraine-inducing attempts to flesh-out numerous characters (sidekicks, villains, officers of the law, etc.) into an hour and forty-nine minutes of screen-time felt very familiar to the defective realms of the clunky Suicide Squad. The plot is unbearably formulaic and uninspired with predictable character arcs, slothful writing, serendipity scattered throughout, and a distracting original soundtrack—so just about everything you’d come to expect from your run-of-the-mill DCEU blockbuster at this point! 

So you may be asking yourselves, does this all bum you out, Evan? The medicoreness of the picture, does it bother you? No. Frankly, I’m fine that this movie exists. I didn’t regret watching it nor did I enjoy watching it, it was just everything I’ve come to expect from team-up, comic-book blockbusters at this point, and I’m much too careless to get aggravated at another one of these second-rates existing. To the people though who are blowing this typical anti-hero flick out of proportion through political absurdity, as Ms. Harleen Frances Quinzel herself would suggest, get yourselves a nice, juicy, possibly expired breakfast sandwich down at your local corner store, and chill the hell-o out, okay? Marvelous! 

Verdict: C-

DCEU Ranked, 2019 Ranked 

“Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn” will be released in theaters February 7, 2020.

 

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