Twin Peaks The Return Re-review (Written in the Style of its Creator)

2nd Viewing

A horror, a comedy, a mystery. A family drama, a sci-fi, an action. Adventure is forever and musicals live on. With the abstract and parodying, we are. 

“I am dead, yet, I live.”

“Is this future, or is it past?”

“When you get there, you will already be there.”

But, you can’t just link two inverses, Lynch, and call it a day. That doesn’t make your piece smart. 

Remember, a horror, a comedy, a mystery. A drama, a sci-fi, an action. Adventure is forever and musicals live on. With the abstract and parodying, we are. I am all; the genre king. Balance is the key. 


We must remember Kyle MacLachlan. He give more than two performances; both primaries worthy of a big pat on the back. One of best in many shows.

He is handsome.

Indeed. Don’t you recall Sheryl Lee, Myself, Michael Horse, Miguel Ferrer, Robert Forster, Naomi Watts, Laura Dern, Kimmy Robertson, Harry Goaz, Al Strobel, Don Murray, Mädchen Amick, Dana Ashbrook, David Patrick Kelly, Richard Beymer, Jim Belushi, Robert Knepper, Amy Shiels, Earmon Farren, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Tim Roth, Russ Tamblyn, Tom Sizemore, Grace Zabriskie, Catherine E, Coulson, Wendy Robie, Harry Dean Stanton, Sherilyn Fenn, Larry Clarke, David Koechner, Eric Edelstein, Matthew Lillard, Clark Middleton, Freddie Sykes, Nae Yuuki, Caleb Landry Jones, and Amanda Seyfried?

God speak. All terrific performances; iconic characters. 

Never forget the rooms: the endless red curtains, the box that shrinks and grows, Mother’s black-and-white palace, The Bang Bar of nostalgia, Naido’s prison chamber with the purple waves and grey electrical socket, outer space (obviously), the bad Cooper’s cage, the nuclear blast, the woodsmans’ gas station, the arm wrestling “nursery school,” and the motel with the room of the machined Phillip Jeffrey. 

Beautiful locations like I’ve never seen them before. Cinematography, color placement, filtering, and animation innovative too. You surreal edit, huh? 

Terrifying. Isn’t it? 


Part 8.

Part Eight? Sheeeeeeeeet. 

Dougie Jones is the cure to depression?

Dougie Jones.



His journey represents our modern Hollywood industry?

I’ll sure as hell never tell you. 


He’s a stoner?


Thought so. 

Oh yeah; to return back to your argument about the commentary and narrative, you’re wrong. I am an intellectual; you’re the dog. Confusion is a part of your experience, and bewilderedness is the reward. 

True. Ambiguity has never felt so satisfying as it does in The Return

I symbolized the atomic bomb, as well, you idiot. We are the creators of our own villains. 

“WHAT THE HELL?” Who do you think you are Mr. Moral? YOU KILLED LAURA PALMER. 

An appropriate reaction to a masterpiece, 18 hours, concentrated on the calmer details of our expeditions and the mass breathing room that no “movie” could possibly grant you with. If we can’t momentarily watch Lucy and Andy choose between buying a red or a beige chair, then there is no “complete experience.”

I agree. 

Damn straight. 

Wait, but if my theories on what exactly happened in The Return are somehow correct, doesn’t your plot occasionally fall into conveniences? 

Well, you don’t know exactly what happened, so could you ever be sure that they’re even plot conveniences?

I guess that’s a good point. It’s all meant to be a sort of daze anyways, like a dream! 

Yes, now shut the f*** up. The Return is (one of) the greatest season(s) of television, and you know it. Bitch. 

Verdict: A+ 

David Lynch Ranked 

“Twin Peaks: The Return” is now available to stream on Showtime.

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