Quick-Thoughts: The Thing (2011)

Why in the why?

I’m sure a million other people have given this rant before, but imma add onto the pile cause why the hell not. The Thing (1982) is John Carpenter’s masterpiece. From what I can recall, it’s a near perfect movie too. So, like my question I posed at the beginning, why does this exist then? Why does a remake of a near perfect movie exist? Okay, sure, technically it’s a prequel, but conceptually it is essentially the same movie as The Thing, except it is SIGNIFICANTLY worse. 

Time for Hollywood to wake the f**k up and realize that if they want to make a remake, it should be of a movie that isn’t already a f**king gem to most people. You know what’s actually a genius idea? Remaking a movie that had a premise with potential which ended up being average or worse. That to me makes sense, and there are a ton of movies out there like that that are even considered popular, so you can make your additional money bonus from reusing the same title too. I really don’t want to hate remakes, I really don’t, because they can be a blessing to cinema if done right and not solely used for financial greed. Hey! Kind of like John Carpenter’s The Thing, which is very much a remake itself of a movie globally considered to be just decent!

I don’t think I’ve laughed as hard as I have in a while when the creature jumped out of the iceberg, howbeit. Unintentional humor redeems! The teeth test was creative though; I’ll give the movie that, despite the amount of sheer stupidity that lies in just about everything else it offers. I don’t understand how people can consider this to be one of the “better” horror remakes when the writing in it is legitimately atrocious.

Verdict: D+

“The Thing” is now available to stream on HBO Max.

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