Saw Marathon • 2nd Viewing • Warning: Spoilers Ahead
Not gonna lie, I’m a little offended that they named the racist “Evan”, but at least he’s played by Chester Bennington. In that case, I’m honored.
The Final Chapter is a complete dead end of a *conclusion* that belongs exclusively to the abysses of hell alongside other infamously tragic horror sequels such as Friday the 13th VII, The Final Nightmare, Halloween: Resurrection, and Seed of Chucky. Except, this one might be the greatest offender of all because at least those movies have a karate-kickin’ Busta Rhymes or some Brad Dourif puns to fill in the gaps with shameless laughter, but instead Twisted Pictures gives us tacked-on Cary Elwes pretending to be the villain all-along, which is the most unconvincing character twist I have ever had the displeasure of cringing at in my entire life. This is the hardest one to b***h about in detail too since I can’t even put a pin on my memory already for what happened in it and it’s only been like twenty minutes since I saw it — a record breaker in forgettability! There’s nothing more offensive than an unnecessary sequel that doesn’t at least try to justify its existence, but this flat out feels like a hodgepodge of uncertain ideas and inferior rip-offs of concepts that the past Saw movies had already explored. Oh, and I’m sure you are all aware that this has some of the weakest dialogue and acting EVER to be put on screen — Gibson might be the dullest character to partake in this franchise thanks to his performance and the lines he’s given. Nobody is clearly trying anymore, since it seems here like people just thought that there had to be a conclusion so they kind of just put whatever together. This isn’t dumb fun anymore, it’s just outright pathetic.
Shoutout to Jigsaw’s 8 Mile cosplay drip though.
Verdict: F
“Saw 3D” is now available to stream on HBO Max.
Burning the Celluloid 
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