Halloween is Upon Us! Here’s Every Final Destination Movie Reviewed

Final Destination (2000)

I want a David Cronenberg remake. 

Paranoia caused by our superstitions, confirmed into a reality. Candyman plays the fatalistic prophet to inform of a world that lives under the rules of warped predetermination. Death is rather a cynical dark comic who hints at every approaching human demise with hilariously *f**ked up* in-your-face signs. Gentle build-ups through a domino show magnifying every little occurrence for possible toppling to exemplify Death’s needlessly complex scheming. Not bad, movie. Maybe a bad climax and ending — some of the most pulled out of your ass ones I’ve seen in a slasher movie really — but mostly everything else beforehand, actually not bad.

All characters came with teleportation powers too.

Verdict: C+

Final Destination 2 (2003)

The practical effects this time around are even more upsettingly graphic than before — for better, of course? The sequel essentially follows the basic beats of the original to a T except, besides the safe-room idea from a veteran, the concept that Death’s plans are actually not inevitable as long as you bring in — cute plot device — a “new” life that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. It also lands the lore onto good old chaos theory territory, which is interesting to think about since The Butterfly Effect (2004) was then made only a year after this sequel’s success.

I think this could’ve easily gotten the full Saw sequel treatment given that it lacks the emotional tragedy felt in its predecessor for an obvious prioritization to showcase more gruesome kills, but it’s not completely hopeless. It adds a few new ideas to fraternize the ongoing violence.

The pregnant lady twist though was dumb as hell! So goofy, haha!

Verdict: C

Final Destination 3 (2006)


Perfectly captures the anxiety you get before going on a rollercoaster, and I haven’t felt this substantial of a weight from tragedy since the original thanks to mainly Winstead’s “control of life” character and unusually above average performance for this franchise’s standards, but wow, talk about bringing absolutely nothing to the table besides ripping off R.L. Stine’s Say Cheese and Die! with its introduction to photo premonitions, and designing a few more mildly creative disasters as to be expected. It’s not enough to justify this whole movie for me; it’s literally just a remake of the first one at that point. The comedy has reached a new low somehow too. 

Also, the people saying right before they die “I’m not going to die” or “I can’t be killed” trend ought to stop.

Verdict: D+

The Final Destination (2009)

Damn, glad to see that this won’t be the final destination in terms of how special effects advancements go.

Yep, that’s the review. This is the Saw 3D (2010) of this franchise and I am not in the mood to talk about it. Let the rating speak for itself.

Verdict: F

Final Destination 5 (2011)

The moment this premise was decided upon, the filmmaker’s should’ve immediately thought of making it a straight-up crossover with The Office (2005-2013) where Dunder Mifflin survives the bridge collapse because of Jim Hopper’s premonition. I mean f**k it, Todd Packer is already in this movie so what were they waiting for? Yet, this wasted potential for what could’ve been the purest of cinema is what we’re left with here today.

Secondly, I know it’s hard to believe, but I personally didn’t care if those two characters went to Paris or not. Why can’t all the scenes in these movies just have Tony Todd in them? It’s also wild how the only somewhat fresh concept this adds to the franchise — ruined in execution though by cringe Peter — isn’t introduced until two acts in. The writers took an L on that one.

Ending was pretty neat nonetheless… until it wasn’t. Cut off that last scene and yeah, it’s cool enough I guess + the collapsing bridge opening.

Verdict: D

The “Final Destination” movies are now available to stream on HBO Max.

Quick-Thoughts: The Final Three of the Friday the 13th Movies (Jason Goes to Hell, Jason X, and Freddy vs. Jason)

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Spoilers, Jason goes to hell, and so does my dignity. 

This is like one of those sequels where they don’t even care at this point to thoroughly establish who most of their target characters are because they know what their audience wants (death, death, death) so you have this circus style of people walking in and out of screen when they need their moment and we just accept it as if we’re supposed to know what the hell is going on with them from face-value as we switch back and forth between heads. 

I guess the real crime of this movie though, because that sort of pointless and uninteresting character writing is already expected with a Friday the 13th movie to me at this point, is that they set the sequel up with a pretty Craven-esc concept that was kind of a cool way to launch the story? But then… wow… I don’t even want to get into how amazingly boring this movie is. If I had known that what Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers initiated in its final scene with the whole serial killer “possession” concept could lead to something such as this (yes, different franchises, but similar concepts) I would’ve vetoed the making of the movie immediately. 

Steven Williams’ character though… I don’t think I’ve ever seen eccentricity quite like it before… for worse. And… umm… can we talk about that climax? Maybe the lamest Jason fight of all-time.

Verdict: F

“Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday” is now available to stream on HBO Max.

Jason X (2001)

Real talk, people who think it’s okay to kill off David Cronenberg in only the first ten minutes of their movie get no respect for me. 

Attachable nipples, EARTH TWO, duking Jason with a drippy virtual combat game, quotes like “he’s screwed” and “that oughta do it”, accidentally destroying an ENTIRE civilization, implementing a Resident Evil Alice meets Terminator to decimate Jason into shreds, occupied sleeping bag tussles, *shooting stars*, casting an Olivia Rodrigo lookalike as the lead scream queen… you know what, when these Friday movies lean more towards the comedy side of things than the “let’s spend 75% of our time actually developing a needlessly tangled plot”, they really aren’t the worst things you could watch. I guess Jason X is MARGINALLY a bit of a refresher for the franchise, even if the means of “refresher” just boils down to an uber campy space setting and some simpler narrative execution. Still, with that all said, saying this tenth sequel is better than most of the sequels beforehand really isn’t saying squat. 

Verdict: D

“Jason X” is now available to stream on HBO Max.

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

I’m not going to lie, I do think there are some pretty creative elements in Freddy vs. Jason. It’s no coincidence that this is lightyear’s better than 90% of the Friday the 13th movies, and that’s because… well… it’s partly a Nightmare on Elm Street one (i.e. the FAR superior franchise). I bought into the concept of Elm Street becoming a town silencing their past with the notorious dream slasher to no longer spread the fear of him into future generations, Freddy Kruger using Jason as a pawn to bring him back into Elm Street visions was a respectable reason to even conceive this absurd-sounding movie in the first place, Ronny Yu directs a couple really festive Kruger hallucinations into the mix that reminded me of why I always found Craven’s creation to be such a treat (thanks Robert Englund for your psychosis procedure of Jason!), and even the actual Jason and Freddy fight towards the end pays off — I really love how even Freddy in the real (not the dream) world still uses what’s around him resourcefully to pull off some unusual shenanigans while the logic of the film sticks true to how much more physically tougher Jason is to Freddy in person. 

However, ruckus such as this could be made into fan-made shorts and I’d have no problem with that, except a 97-minute runtime is a lot to justify what this movie offers, let alone any Friday the 13th movie for that matter. I think for what it’s going for, it succeeds only if you really really really care that much about seeing two infamous slashers toy with their victims for a whole movie, but in the language of Godzilla vs. Kong, these sort of feature-length shticks really aren’t my cup of tea, at least for now.

Verdict: C-

Friday the 13th Ranked, Nightmare on Elm Street Ranked

“Freddy vs. Jason” is now available to stream on HBO Max.

Quick-Thoughts: Fear Street Part Three: 1666

Yo, these MOFOs were way ahead of their time taking perks in 1666.

The first half of this conclusion to the three-part Fear Street saga is such a run-of-the-mill retread of a Salem’s Witch Trial conundrum that cowers to go beyond the standard story beat of people who don’t fit into popular belief and standards being blamed for natural disasters by easily manipulated religious nuts. The worst part about the first half of all this too is that we know were everybody ends up because of preconceived information disclosed in the first two Fear Street parts, so not only are we waiting through nearly an hour of seeing how surface-level a statement on higher-ups using marginalized groups as targets can go on for, but the only surprises we have to look forward to is how exactly A gets to B, via a predictable false victim plot. Jeez, who else seconds that we should’ve all just watched The VVitch (2015) again instead if we wanted to relearn about how the s****y patriarchy destroys the lives of others? 

What’s interesting about my experience with this movie though was that I inferred based on moments in the plot that this was possibly leading up to a new allegory, one on how past injustices are detrimental enough to counteract centuries of recurring injustices because of how it forces radical self-defense out from those victimized who have no other choice, as if initiating some sort of curse that harms all kin from thereon forth, and I was like well damn that’s unfortunate that you’re using exhausting textbook formula to help paint this picture, but yeah go ahead, that’s better than nothing. Yet instead, it actually ended up being a way cornier commentary that just read along the lines of people who create disasters so that they can be clean-up crew, save the day, and get rewarded amidst false public knowledge — i.e. The Incredibles (2004), Frozen (2013)… should I list any more Disney movies for which do the same thing this R-rated movie does that somehow is also miles more immature than those animated examples I just mentioned and furthermore didn’t require you to go through two mediocre movies to get there?

Lastly, remember when I complimented the previous two parts for being fearless when it came to just killing off characters? Well, Part Three I guess decided to call it quits and order in a huge shipment of plot armor to go around. Plus, the climax was edited like a trailer; I don’t think I could’ve possibly left that obnoxious detail out, let alone how foreseeable every occurrence in it was to top things off. Anyhow… failed experiment, Netflix, but to a degree, I respect the attempt? Try again! 

Verdict: D

2021 Ranked

“Fear Street Part Three: 1666” is now available to stream on Netflix.

Quick-Thoughts: Fear Street Part Two 1978

Shoutout to all the unbiased kills, nonetheless. Every class of individual is on the menu when it comes to Fear Street and I can’t help but respect that. 

Is this movie a paradox? Obviously, it’s a tribute to kitsch cult flicks in the domain of specifically a Friday the 13th feature (duuuh) but instead of having your usual cruddy acting and directing you’d come to expect from that schlock of a franchise, it’s instead pretty competently… well… acted and shot. Yet, that’s what makes it also fail for me? If you’ve, say, been given a considerably goofy premise full of witchcraft and summer camp thrills, you’d expect to compliment it with goofy performances or presentation, right? At least, it would help fit the tone more? However, Part Two isn’t aiming for that, it’s aiming for grounded direness amidst clumsily homaging a genre known for ridiculousness. I’m not necessarily saying that the Friday the 13th movies are better than this, cause frankly they aren’t when it comes to my taste, but I am saying that they are at least more tonally sound than what Leigh Janiak has done here despite the fact that what she has undoubtedly done here is use stronger talents in the scope of execution to make a more watchable, character-driven Jason Voorhees-type film that’s integrated with a “big picture” underlying plot which ties in with those other two Fear Street parts.

If we toggle back to a complaint from my review of Fear Street Part One: 1994, however, I did mention that that film in particular accomplished little in progressing Craven’s 90s breed of slasher crave. Technically though, Part Two: 1978 is doing something more noticeably different for what it’s harkening to by making a shallow Friday the 13th-like movie have that prevalent (but snoozy and mawkish) emotion to its horror. Yet, if you ask me, that’s kind of a f**king bare minimum reach for progressively advancing a 1970s summer-camp slasher genre since it never really needed that “refined” exploration in the first place. Is it something to partially commend Janiak for? Sure, since we now have a mediocrely mundane version of a Friday the 13th movie — no more over-the-top kills cause now we’re aiming for practical GRIT! — but that literally does mere for me in terms of entertainment value. You see, what’s happened here is the creators at hand have sucked the soul out of that classic franchise’s absurdity and replaced it with normalized relational melodrama pitched in appealing visuals and cuts, yet the effort essentially just leads us straight back to square one in terms of quality for this particular era of slasher cinema. If my math is correct, if you sacrifice some *alleged* good from the originals and then add some *alleged* good from the new, the answer would be a profoundly neutral ≈.

Should I even watch Part Three at this point? I mean, I’ve made it this far so I might as well, huh? Welp, Review III coming next week, yaaaaay…

Verdict: C-

2021 Ranked

“Fear Street Part Two: 1978” is now available to stream on Netflix.

Quick-Thoughts: Fear Street Part One 1994

Cruella now has competition for which movie from 2021 can radio-scroll the most decade-based hit songs in one go.

I mean for something that’s based off of the work of R.L. Stine, they do make the smug, over-the-top acting and dialogue feel as if it were stripped right from the screen of a 90s Goosebumps episode but with a bloodthirsty R-rating chased to its blade. Gotta hand it to the creators though, if that at least gives us an excuse to portray realistic protagonists that are genuine assholes living in a world which isn’t somehow wrongly against their undervalued perfections for once who will go as far as to even mule children into keistering drugs for them — that’s a mouthful, I know — then I’m all for it. Shoutout to the crew for also hiring actors who ACTUALLY look like high schoolers and SECONDLY writing victims who are moderately smart for once! Yet, aside from maybe that and say a couple neat ideas (shark-bate Mia Wallace!) that kept me from being completely bored with this, Fear Street Part One: 1994 just seems like another wannabe Wes Craven remaster that combines slasher with fantasy to act as if it’s doing something progressively game-changing for the genre, not to mention it vulgarly wields this in the first place so it can have an excuse to pound-town stark moments of nostalgia in the notorious language of Stranger Things (2016-). But, the worst offender committed here would have to be ugh… how insufferably non-stop the melodrama is; count this as another one of those gory adult horror movies that irritatingly feels like it’s trapped in a bargain-bin *classic* Pixar movie. Trust me, I was real shocked too when I found out Christopher Landon wasn’t attached to this project. 

Verdict: C-

2021 Ranked

“Fear Street Part One: 1994” is now available to stream on Netflix. 

Quick-Thoughts: The Conjuring 3

Regardless, I still want a water-bed.

This may be the best Conjuring film in terms of lighting/coloring (as long as it isn’t a daytime shot) and Michael Chaves can mime James Wan’s style all he wants while even surprisingly adding to it with a few instances of mild creativity, but it’s not enough to save the biggest snooze-fest of 2021 thus far. The biggest offense that I can claim when it comes to The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It is that it completely eradicates a potential-driven premise that smartly sets itself up from being a redundancy within the confines of its previous two entries only for it to seemingly do everything in its path to not evolve this premise into something remotely engaging, transfiguring into exactly what it initially sought out to not become. Mark Kermode delivered one of my new favorite reviewer quotes not long ago when he went over Zack Snyder’s Justice League, calling it “competently boring”, and that description very much applies to how I felt about this third Conjuring installment. It’s not too convoluted, but more importantly, however, it’s just dead air, a walking corpse — excuse my cheesy wording, but that sort of vocabulary is in spirit of the run-of-the-mill movie we have under speculation here! There’s just not a whole lot to say about it that hasn’t already been said about countless other horror stinkers alike!

And yeah, the twist this time around is goofy as hell, and the movie going full Interstellar (2014) “love conquers all” with that tiresome mind-control cliché certainly ended up being the killing points that ruined the climax for me. I swear though, circumstances such as this really get me thinking about how these r-rated Conjuring movies are slowly becoming more and more like Scooby-Doo episodes. But… now that I mention it, if they had compacted this storyline into a tight 70-minutes, toned its carnage down a little bit, ultimately making it into some kind of cartoon special for that iconic children’s franchise, it probably would’ve ended up being a better experience. Awe shucks! Why didn’t that happen instead???

Verdict: D+

2021 Ranked

“The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It” is now playing in theaters and available to stream on HBO Max.

Quick-Thoughts: James Wan’s The Conjuring 2 (2016)

Warning: Spoilers Ahead • 2nd Viewing

The most shocking thing though is that The Conjuring 2 really is an improvement upon its predecessor… and then that finale happens. 

I forgot how bitchin’ the opening of this film is, with Lorraine mimicking a possessed father-killer through her Professor-X superpowers; can’t forget about the whole one-take conversation between Ed and Bill Wilkins too; they’re probably the two highlight scenes of the film for me! Anyways, all of Wan’s usual camera-tricks as mentioned in my review of the first Conjuring have very much been applied to this sequel, so a big 👍s-up to that, but what I truly believe is the real strong-point of this second installment actually has to do with something for which was my biggest drawback of the original: the thematic relevancy. Not only is the Hodgson family fleshed-out to quite the substantial rate in The Conjuring 2 in greater comparison to the Perron family, but there’s a substantial amount of emotional gravity to how they go about the situation that lacked in the original. 

I appreciate how this sequel delves into the concept of how pivotal it is to be positive during moments of crisis, or how demanding it is to psychologically condition ourselves into throwing fears under the bus by understanding their childish intentions, therefore, not letting them become effective in definition, and while this characteristic of the second Conjuring may have been executed a bit rudimentarily, it’s undoubtedly competent enough to be persuasive given the heftier number of times the film treats us with scenes to really hammer it in. 

However, I do somewhat dislike how the writers attempted to weave Ed and Lorraine into these themes, especially when we depart into the third act. There’s something so damn exhausting about the whole pre-vision to a destined tragedy cliché (Revenge of the Sith (2005) moment) that gets on my nerves when it’s clearly there just to upset the main characters with confrontational affections of love for which you think they would’ve felt beforehand naturally (without the ridiculous Nun visions) after so many years of ghostbusting and after LITERALLY the events of the first Conjuring. Pathos ain’t easy to write, man, and the climax of The Conjuring 2 abuses it to an absolute bloody pulp — shoutout to those ridiculous closing doors. Don’t even get me started on how the film decides to furthermore go down the kids’-movie-familiar “togetherness is key” route by its ending; a big yikes to whoever wrote that in! 

But holy unholy, can we talk about how the issue to this entire story gets resolved? The dropped, concurring video tapes thing is one thing, and I won’t even get into Wilkin’s last-minute necessity of knowledge, but are you telling me that the Nun’s one weakness (which ends up lazily being not only a weakness, but the conclusive defeat of it) is calling her by her name? So why in the hell would the Nun tell you her name in the first place, for which she does to Lorraine who she’s trying to traumatize and win control over? Granted, I guess the Nun possibly could’ve not known this information herself — then again though, how would Wilkin’s know it if not from the Nun? — but don’t you think it’s a tad convenient too that the Nun happened to make Lorraine write her name in the Bible that she then also happened to carry all the way to England (a decimated Bible too…) just to later on find out about its crucial piece of information? Also, we’re only into the second entry of this franchise (not counting the spin-offs) and I already loathe how almost every scare is starting to present death as an open option, but always ends up just being the demon simply dicking around long enough for someone to save them, ultimately draining the intensity out from me every time it happens; it kind of makes me appreciate the original more, where death never felt entirely viable until the later possession of the mother and the disclosure of the information on the dead family’s past. Well, unless you were a dog. 

I’ll end off on a peachier note, however, by speaking on behalf of another theme that I thought separated itself from its predecessor in an admirable manner. The Conjuring 2 seems quite interested in how people deduced unusual real-life stories during this era through the coexisting balance of religious belief and scientific rationality, and how even the supposedly more intellectual people who were opposed to superstition were just as desperate to believe themselves as were the ones who were convinced of being haunted or possessed whether it was all in their heads or in their houses. The film even suggests that a place of faith (the church) needs evidence, as well, in order to believe in modern incidents; it’s just the evolved human behavior of today. The film kind of uses stereotypical characters to stir these clashes into play, sure, but I’m at least glad it’s there? But, in truth, it does put us into that mindset of a time frame during Amityville and countless debunked hoaxes that made headlines where even the paranormal hunters/believers themselves had to contemplate whether a possible faker was worth their time — there’s more ghostbusting out there to be ghostbusted! — or if maybe their effort was still warranted regardless just in case there really was something supernatural in the presence of even little signs; myth, until proven completely guilty, cannot and should not be denied to the fullest.

In all honesty, Wan’s follow-up feels more like a straight-shooting drama than a straight-shooting horror flick, which encourages some great debate as to if The Conjuring 1 or 2 is the superior entry. Personally, I think this sequel genuinely had the potential to outdo what came before it, but the overstuffed writing ideas, with some meaty and others corny, essentially led to my choosing of side. This sequel could’ve been a From Russia With Love (1964) or an Empire Strikes Back (1980) ordeal given some of the material it’s working with, seriously.

The Crooked Man design was sublime though. So unnatural! 👌

Verdict: C+

“The Conjuring 2” is now available to stream on HBO Max and Netflix.

Quick-Thoughts: James Wan’s The Conjuring (2013)

2nd Viewing

Will need to conjure up the need to sleep tonight.

Gotta hand it to a horror director who isn’t afraid to shift visual perspective from time to time, whether that be in his standard frame collaging, smooth tracking shots, intimately close handheld camerawork (centered or panned), timid point-of-views, old-fashioned slow zoom-ins, or classic spin tricks. I’ve always really admired the first half of the film more than anything, given that the scares aren’t immediate, but rather teased, and that only makes the film more engaging as it goes along and progressively closes in on those blow-out frights. Could one argue, however, that at the end of the day what Wan has done here is simply reintroduce one cliché horror trope after the other ranging from troll-y doors to suicidal birds, but done with a more careful precision we don’t see too frequently? Absolutely, but maybe that’s just the goal of The Conjuring: to reattempt the classic Haunted House story with almost all its trademarks combined, yet redone to a decent effect as opposed to the genre’s majority. 

Nonetheless, this has been a pet peeve of mine when it comes to The Conjuring for quite some time, but I wish Wan would’ve showed the spirits/demons from afar more often, because when they’re only barely in plain view they look so anomalously upsetting, but up-close, the makeup is kind of hilariously obvious that it takes me completely out? The emotional aspect of this film is usually quite deadbeat for me, as well; the emphasis on motherhood and fear of loss could’ve been expanded on beyond Wan’s one-note, checkmark lifetime-drama lines. The plot writing gets a bit janky towards the climax too, depending on an excessive amount of timely abruptness and some arc circumstances that were only lightly touched on previously in the film.

Anyways though, The Conjuring still holds up to how I initially thought of it either way. Thank you too James Wan for using mostly jump scares that aren’t followed by an unnatural score sound, well, at least in the first half of your movie. Ya got me nearly every time with them. 

Verdict: B-

“The Conjuring” is now available to stream on HBO Max and Netflix.

Quick-Thoughts: Wes Craven’s Scream 4 (2011)

I never thought I would say this in my entire f**king life, but Halloween: Resurrection did it first.

Honestly, Scream 4 has the most commendable twist out of all the sequels. There’s at least something worthwhile in Wes Craven’s attempt to speak on behalf of both the media and the entertainment industry’s modern obsession with wanting to relive the past success (whether misunderstood or not) of others, therefore influencing the younger generation in burdening ways.

Howbeit, I’m a little disheartened though that this ended up being Wes Craven’s final movie. If you’re familiar with the Scream franchise up until this point, you may know about how it tends to stumble into hypocrisies at times, considering each one strives to be a self-aware take on its genre yet can’t help but fall into the formula it passive-aggressively demeans and celebrates.

Well, the final one takes it to a whole other level… for worse.

I imagine this fourth installment could be considered Craven’s “Michael Haneke” moment where he takes us through over an hour of almost unbearably boring retread just to make a statement on the dull experience that we had by its conclusion. This entire movie basically works as one quirky experiment, one where the movie is mostly the pointless, highly inferior remake-sequel hybrid for which many will hate until *suddenly* it reveals its true colors during a marginal moment of exposition. Yet, that risky elongation of meta to me is not enough to justify the lack of entertainment the build-up of this sequel has especially when in comparison to its flamboyant predecessors, not to also mention the idealistic predictability that ensues after the big twist is revealed. Scream 4 is essentially saying that it’s allowed to be the typical, gore-crazy and visually over-saturated modern reboot because it features once again its self-aware trademark schematics to excuse the bulls**t. However, these genre tricks seem to have reached a dead end for me, as I’ve become far too traditionalized and desensitized from them after watching 3 previous films that committed similar to still care for.

Plus, this one doesn’t give me Raja Gosnell Scooby-Doo vibes so it’s automatically bottom-tier of the franchise for me. 

Verdict: D+

Wes Craven Ranked

“Scream 4” is now available to rent on Amazon Prime.

Quick-Thoughts: Wes Craven’s Scream 3 (2000)

The Scream movies give off the same vibe as the live action Scooby-Doo movies the more I think about it. Early 2000s gang, where you at?

Scream 3 has about as much insightful social commentary on pervy Hollywood execs as you would expect from a Harvey Weinstein produced motion picture. Wes Craven’s once upon a time in Hollywood resorts back to Scream 2’s subplot of corrupt media’s exploitation of real-life tragedies while hammering at the tropes of trilogy conclusions, but with the actual focus and weight of those topics as if the human embodiment of ADHD decided to draft them in one go. This movie gets kind of Halloween II (the Rick Rosenthal one, not the Rob Zombie one…) on us towards the end, as well, proving once more that this franchise is just progressively becoming everything that it had initially sought out to revert away from in the slasher genre. 

Also, here’s my impression of Dewy handling a situation in this movie:


*Looks at inanimate object.*

“Or shoot?”

*Looks at serial killer.*


*Looks at inanimate object again.*

“Or shoot?”

*Looks at serial killer again.*


*Proceeds to shoot inanimate object with all his rounds.*

Verdict: C-

Wes Craven Ranked

“Scream 3” is now available to stream on HBO Max.