Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) REVISITED—for Three Short Paragraphs…

3rd Viewing I have barely anything to say about Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Fans will fall head over heels for it because it’s two straight hours of unashamed fan service. Critics will think it’s alright because at least Gareth Edwards knows how to make a pretty-looking action flick. I, myself, think it’s “whatever,”Continue reading “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) REVISITED—for Three Short Paragraphs…”

Quickie: Breaking the Waves (1996)

Damn. This took the stigma “people do the stupidest things for love” to a whole other level.  If you’ve ever felt bad for a fictional character before, wait until you meet Bess McNeill—a mentally ill young woman who’s recently gotten married and, shortly after, confronted with an upsetting situation. Not only is she coping withContinue reading “Quickie: Breaking the Waves (1996)”

Quickie: Scooby-Doo (2002)

The casting is literally perfect, the openly pornographic tone is shady, and the CGI aged terribly. I f***ing love this movie. And Linda Cardellini, if you want my number, you know, we can…maybe…make something happen? I know you’re twice my age and whatever, and I’m probably not exactly in your league—you are a celebrity forContinue reading “Quickie: Scooby-Doo (2002)”

Quickie: Citizen Kane (1941)

Where’s my medal? I finally watched it!  I thought Citizen Kane was pretty damn great! Best movie of all-time though? I don’t know, fellas. Sure, it is mind-boggling to contemplate just how far ahead of its time it truly was. There are so many editing techniques, cinematography tricks (particularly with shadows), camera movements, and storyContinue reading “Quickie: Citizen Kane (1941)”

Quickie: Annie Hall (1977)

Wow, Woody Allen is a marvelous writer! Annie Hall’s script is outright funny, constantly interesting, very flamboyant, genuinely creative, and undoubtedly quick-witted. It made for a romantic comedy that actually didn’t annoy the hell out of me! It’s the OG Deadpool, in many cases.  But if anyone is getting points for impressing me, it’s DianeContinue reading “Quickie: Annie Hall (1977)”

Quickie: True Romance (1993)

True Romance is definitely a Quentin Tarantino picture despite the man not being the director behind it. Him pushing at the zaniest of his capacities in a Bonnie & Clyde-type tale may have just been the reason why he had no interest in directing it. From a lead character who talks to an imaginary Elvis Presley toContinue reading “Quickie: True Romance (1993)”

Quickie: Wild at Heart (1990)

This is not how I remembered Raising Arizona. Wild at Heart is the horniest movie David Lynch has crafted yet. I mean, this is probably how the pitch meeting for it went: Producers: How much nudity do you want in this movie? David Lynch: Yes. Producers: And how many sex scenes do you want toContinue reading “Quickie: Wild at Heart (1990)”

Quickie: North by Northwest (1959)

My boy Mr. Kaplan…I mean…Mr. Thornhill got c***ed to the highest degree.  But, yeah. I don’t know what else to say. This is another mind-bending Hitchcock treasure that I have little to complain about. A splendid “we can’t trust the government” movie, indeed. Would it be mean though to consider North by Northwest the gratuitouslyContinue reading “Quickie: North by Northwest (1959)”

Quickie: Frances Ha (2012)

Frances Ha: The movie that thinks black-and-white on digital looks good and that people only throw out witty lines while having everyday conversations. Which is chill; I’ll give it props for being “special.” Yeah, again, these run-of-the-mill, feel-good comedies about the many bumps in life are simply not for mwah. HOWEVER, the low-budget filmmaking hereContinue reading “Quickie: Frances Ha (2012)”

Quickie: 12 Angry Men (1957)

Yeah, I know, I know; I’ve been putting this movie off for way too long. Quiet yourselves.  I have no hesitation in saying that 12 Angry Men has one of the most adroit scripts I have ever laid witness to. It’s got one of those stories where you’re like, “how are they possibly going toContinue reading “Quickie: 12 Angry Men (1957)”