Ranking Every Episode of Breaking Bad Season 5 From Worst to Best


Admittedly, I was never supposed to rewatch Breaking Bad at this very time. I wanted to do some research for my media writing project, so I decided to rewatch the pilot episode of the show to gain inspiration, but as one may expect, I got sucked in. It’s been more than six years since I binged Breaking Bad for the first time, and after years of praising the program like a pathetic addict, I decided to give Vince Gilligan’s hit piece a second analysis. In doing so, I’ve decided that ranking the episodes each season from best to worst would switch up my typical TV review formats, and add a new perspective to the show that I haven’t already preached on before. With that being said, here’s every episode of Breaking Bad’s fifth season ranked from finest to dullest — as if any of these installments are actually “dull” though.

#16 – Episode 3: Hazard Pay

I kind of hate how the quarrel between Jesse and Andrea is just magically resolved in this episode, like it never happened. It’s just a nit-pick, though, nothing major.

Pest-control meets the meth-cooking business! This new plan of Walt, Saul, Mike and Jesse’s is sheerly brilliant. The gang is going back to DIY workshopping, but with a fresh sense of security, plotting their station in a different house each session while being concealed by the pest-control team.

Lastly, Skyler pulls a Philip Seymour Hoffman from Punch-Drunk Love on Marie. “SHUTUP.”

Verdict: A-

#15 – Episode 6: Buyout

Todd is low-key building himself up to be a serial killer. Him collecting that dead boy’s spider as a memoir — RED FLAG. The dinner between Walt, Skyler and Jesse was possibly the most awkward thing that’s ever happened on this show. Walt confesses to how power-hungry he is, wanting to redeem himself for ditching Grey Matter by finding a way to birth an empire in the meth business, despite Jesse and Mike wanting to leave the project. Walt’s so damn big-headed now that he’s going to need a cart to start caring that noggin around. 

Verdict: A-

#14 – Episode 12: Rabid Dog

“He can’t keep getting away with it!” (x2)

Half an hour later…

“Yeah, Mr. White is gay for me.”

Skyler pushes Walt to consider killing Jesse. Hank and Jesse become roomies. Hank himself is beginning to break bad, using Jesse as bait to possibly get killed on camera — yo, Mr. White, you’re making everybody now a bad person. Jesse gets paranoid and decides to threaten Walt over the phone instead of negotiating with him in person. Walt officially plans on hiring Uncle Jack to kill Jesse now. We’re finally being lead to the moment when the two infamous BFFs want each other legitimately dead — and I’m not talking metaphorically; they’ve seriously gotten to a point where they have to clash with each other whether that be with murder or imprisonment. 

Verdict: A-

#13 – Episode 10: Buried

Walt tries to hide all his money. Hank confronts Skyler about the situation — we surprisingly then learn that Skyler wants Walt to win this rivalry. Marie finds out and attempts to take Skyler’s baby. Lydia sends Uncle Jack’s crew to wipe out Walt’s old business partners. Lydia not wanting to see the mess she made tells us a lot about her character. Todd’s little crush on her also starts. Hank prepares to interrogate Jesse after he gets arrested for throwing millions of dollars across Albuquerque.

S**t is seriously starting to hit the fence now.

Verdict: A

#12 – Episode 2: Madrigal

Walt makes Jesse go through emotional self-guilt by forcing him to think that he lost the ricin due to his own mistakes — when, really, that’s just a fat cover-up. Agent Merkert speaks on how his friendship with Gus was all along a lie, foreshadowing what Hank’s very own situation with Walt will come to. Mike is interrogated by Hank and Gomez, impressively, but not nearly to a point that could break him. Walt and Jesse are now planning to build their own independent meth empire. Mike has to make a tough decision and murder one of his men, since our newest character Lydia put a hit on them.

That Walt coming onto Skyler scene though was seriously unnerving. GTFO of there, Sky!

Verdict: A

#11 – Episode 1: Live Free or Die

Season 5 starts off with a scene that’ll play a role in the very last episode of the show. It takes place at Denny’s — cause those seem to be the only diners that exist in the Breaking Bad universe at this point — and Walt seems to be picking up a M60 machine gun from a dealer. What a manner to tease us fans.

“Yeah, bitch! Magnets, oh!”

And, in all seriousness, the Mission Impossible-type magnet plan and execution was absolutely epic. Also, Skyler is now genuinely scared s**tless of Walt and I don’t blame her.

But holy moly, that “act of God” on Ted was insanely cruel, jeez.

Verdict: A

#10 – Episode 15: Granite State

“If I’m lucky, best-case scenario, I’m managing a Cinnabon in Omaha.”

LOL! Your wish came true, Saul!

Walt decides to wait out his revenge day by day, up in a cold, snowy mountain cabin. Todd kills Andrea in front of Jesse after Jesse attempts escaping Uncle Jack’s facility. Jesse’s life can seriously not get any worse than this; the poor dude has been through hell and back about a gazillion times now. Walt starts simping for company and pays Ed 10k to play cards with him for an hour — sheesh. Walt calls his son and tries to convince him to let him send him money, but, of course, his son denies it considering who he thinks his father really is. In that fleeting moment, Walt decides to call the DEA and give himself up. Then suddenly, as if it were divine intervention, a particular television program inspires Walt to leave the scene before the police arrive and try winning the game of life one last time. Ooh, baby, and the Breaking Bad theme begins playing in the actual episode!

That one television station chose the worst possible time to show Elliot and Gretchin’s slander of Walter White though, huh? Heisenberg is coming for those two now! 

Verdict: A

#9 – Episode 9: Blood Money

Took me a while to realize it, but Season 5 of Breaking Bad arguably started Gilligan’s present to past time frame writing style that he later on carried into Better Call Saul — a show where we know what ends up happening to our main character, but we don’t exactly know how it happened. Well, I suppose the pink teddy bear in season 2 could count as that too, but season 5 makes it much more obvious that Walt ends up failing near the end.

Episode 9, the halfway mark in this season, starts off by showing us the future. Walt returns to his home, which has been ransacked and taken over by some skater kids. He’s not there for reminiscing, per say, but there to pick up the ricin he hid in his electrical socket, for reasons currently unknown.

Hank’s putting together Walt’s correlation to being thee Heisenberg. Jesse wants to get rid of his blood money. Jesse wanting to donate the money to Mike’s granddaughter though was low-key sweet of him… awweee.

“If you don’t know who I am then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.” 

A threat. Hank confronts Walt about his true identity and it is bonkers surreal to see it finally unveil. Dean Norris’s acting in this scene is, furthermore, insanely convincing — I’ve never seen the dude act this good on the show than in Blood Money.

Verdict: A

#8 – Episode 8: Gliding Over All

“Tagging trees is a lot better than chasing monsters.”

…and Hank said that right in front of Heisenberg’s face. 

Walt orders the BRUTAL death of ten men in prison like it’s nothing. I’m telling you, montaging death sequences with Nat King Cole’s “Pick Yourself Up” playing in the background automatically grants extra points to any form of art’s quality. Skyler wants Walt to finally realize that they don’t need anymore moolah. Jesse’s officially scared of Walt after the hit he put on the prisoners. And, of course, almost like destiny, just when Walt decides to leave the meth business, Hank finds out who Heisenberg truly is… on a toilet. 

Gale came back from the dead to bite Walt in the ass — and, believe me, he 100% deserved it. Not only because he, or course, ordered Gale’s death, but, secondly, because he was that darn ignorant not to even open or start reading the book Gale had gifted him. 

Verdict: A

#7 – Episode 7: Say My Name

“Being the best at something is a very rare thing.”


Walt makes Mr. Seventy-Percent Pure submit to his knees and screech the all-powerful name “Heisenberg” in front of his goonies. Jesse and Walt have a heated “we’re going to Hell anyways”-type argument because Jesse refuses to continue with Walt’s meth business venture — an expertly written conversation by the way; it’s just more proof to add that season 5 features Gilligan’s best writing more so than any other season on the show. 

Also, I think Walt hiring Todd to be his new partner speaks plenty enough on the case of whether or not he actually cared about that kid dying during their train heist. At this point, I’m not surprised Jesse is finally starting to pick up on Walt’s lies. 

Mike gets his two-cents out on Walter and how he royally screwed-up everything for everyone when he joined Gus’s crew. Walt returns the favor with his rash thinking by shooting Mike out of anger, which ultimately kills Mike too. Again, Walt is getting too big-head and out of control as he treads down this desperate attempt to produce a successful empire. “Shut the f**k up and let me die in peace” is a killer sentence to go out on though; I’ve gotta give Mike credit for that line. Cheers to one of my favorite characters in the Breaking Bad universe. You will be missed.

Verdict: A

#6 – Episode 4: Fifty-One

Bro, WTF was that opening car-buying scene. I legit couldn’t tell if I was watching Breaking Bad or a GTA V cutscene. 

In other news, Mike gets woke and calls himself a sexist. LOL. Jesse giving Mr. White an expensive birthday present was also Walt’s signal to who his “real” family was at the moment. What an interesting duo those two are.

“The person who gave me this present wanted me dead too. Not that long ago, he pointed a gun right between my eyes, right here, and he threatened to kill me. He changed his mind about me, Skyler, and so will you.”

That piece of dialogue gave me chills down my spine. What an ingenious psychopath Walt is. 

For those who’re saying that Skyler is just an attention hog now, well, yeah no s**t. I would be too if my husband blew up three people in a nursing home. Her walking into a pool and possibly trying to drown herself is clearly a gargantuan cry for help to her sister and brother-in-law, and I can’t believe I’m defending Skyler, but I feel so sorry for her, especially now that everybody thinks she’s the cuckoo, bad guy who cheated on her husband. Walt’s obliviousness to this whole entire affair until he had to have it verbally explained by Skyler furthermore showcases just how far the crime world has driven him from reality. The s**tty and disappointing nature of how his birthday ended up being should’ve showcased plenty enough on how much of an ass Walt has become to those who surround him, but at this rate, he’s too blind to even acknowledge it. 

Walt vs. Skyler has become super real at this point. Walt has officially ruined his family for good. Fifty-one is an insanely crucial episode in my book! He’s 99% pure evil now! 99%! 

Skyler straight-up told Walt she was “waiting for the cancer to come back.” Birthday roasts be a little too hard these days…

Verdict: A

#5 – Episode 13: To’hajiilee

Todd begins simping to Lydia. In other news…

Walt sends a hit on Jesse but is interrupted by Hank and Jesse’s brilliant plan to lure Walt to his own money. Jesse persuasively cons Walt into admitting gallons of information over the phone because he is genuinely convinced Jesse is out there burning his money; Walt finally gets a taste of his own medicine! Jesse has finally outsmarted Walt… for now. 

Unfortunately, shortly after, Walt commits the greatest mistake of his entire life and sends Uncle Jack directly to where his money is hiding. Hank then proceeds to arrest Walt at his 7-barreled cashes’ hiding spot, and when all seems to be going according to Jesse’s plan, Walt’s previously haphazardness actions come into play. There, Uncle Jack and his crew initiate a shootout against Hank and Gomez — Walt’s desires have swerved totally off course, and what he fears the most is quickly heading his direction.


Verdict: A

#4 – Episode 11: Confessions

Hank, Marie, Skyler and Walt confront each other at a Mexican restaurant. There Hank and Marie receive the dirtiest piece of blackmail video ever to be conceived on planet Earth, where Walt describes in detail how Hank was the one who forced him to cook in his meth empire. Honestly, at this point, the video convinced me that Walt should’ve just become an Oscar-winning actor, because this man is the greatest liar ever. 

Jesse cries in Walt’s arms too. Awe? Jesse’s right though. Walt can never ask Jesse for a favor; it typically has to be manipulation and lies in Walt’s book when it comes to convincing someone close to him. 

It’s wild to think that Jesse was only seconds away from leaving his life in Albuquerque for good until he put together Huell switching his weed with cigarettes to Walt poisoning Brock. This leads to Jesse beating the crap out of Saul and threatening him with a gun to tell him the truth. On-edge stuff! Jesse is finally rising up to the years of abuse Walt forced upon him.

It gets better though. The situation escalates so extremely that Jesse almost burns Walt’s entire house. Guess that Hank and Jesse team-up is happening after all.

Verdict: A

#3 – Episode 5: Dead Freight

“The point is, no one other than us can ever know that this robbery went down.”

And, at that moment when those words were spoken to Todd, we Breaking Bad rewatchers knew, Jesse had royally f***ked up.

Walt’s become such a great actor, conning Hank and whatnot at his own work place, that you can almost say he could go toe to toe with a performer like Bryan Cranston, huh?

Lydia gets forced to call the DEA at gun-point and proposes a new plan to obtain methylamine. Thus, the infamous train heist commences: a nail-biting, riveting and fresh television premise that only geniuses like Vince Gilligan could come up with. On top of that though, Dead Freight has one of the coldest episode endings yet, where out newest character Todd pulls out a gun and shoots the kid who saw the heist, a command encouraged earlier on by Jesse’s own words. Yet, at this point, we all know Jesse is going to suffer and disapprove the most from this tragically ill-minded incident.

That “good samaritan” really came in though at the perfect time so that the gang could struggle to finish the heist at the last second? Oh, Mr. Plot-device man; how else are we supposed to add tension?

Verdict: A

#2 – Episode 16 – Felina

Vince Gilligan ought to direct more. Excellent framing in this episode, my golly.

Walt solves the issue of sending his money to his family by forcing Elliot and Gretchin to launder his money to them as a charitable donation. Using a fully equipped, convincing method though, Walt introduces them to fake hitmen (Skinny Pete and Badger) in order to ensure that they go through with his demand. 

Walt finally uses the ricin to poison Lydia after teasing us with it for four whole seasons! He then begins building his automatic M16 machine gun.

“I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And, I was… really… I was alive.”

Walt finally admits to Skyler that he started his venture into the drug industry purely for his own selfish needs — something that will hopefully reassure her for the rest of her life. He gives up the burial sites of Hank and Steve too, so that Skyler can make a deal with the DEA. Walt has chosen to be honest during his last moments with Skyler out of long-deserved respect. 

In the finale, Walt drives to Uncle Jack’s place, claiming he wants to strike a deal. Walt manages to get them to lure Jesse into the mix as well, and Walt attacks him to the ground right in front of the whole gang. 


Moving on, Walt pressures Jesse into killing him, but for the first time, Jesse finally refuses a manipulative request that Walt makes, even after forcing him to say it with truth spun on it. After Walt tells Lydia over the phone that he poisoned her with ricin, Jesse drives away from the scene in an El Camino, laughing with joy as he does it — freedom alas! We make our way to the last scene of Breaking Bad from there on out, and Walt dies in Uncle Jack’s meth laboratory, looking fondly at the items he loved so dearly. Badfinger’s “Baby Blue” begins playing, literally the most perfect song to end Breaking Bad on lyrically and, well, in its title. I have personal ties to the song too, so me tearing up at the end could just be psychological or Vince Gilligan just ended the show that flawlessly.

Verdict: A+

#1 – Episode 14: Ozymandias

The acting in Ozymandias = a Golden Globe Award for everyone (x100). 

The name Holly was conceived on the day Walt first started cooking meth. Curses ought to exist in the Breaking Bad universe, huh? 

That fade in fade out of the past and the present out in Hajiilee is masterful. Rian Johnson shot this episode so optimally! 

Hank is murdered by Uncle Jack in cold blood right in front of Walt. Uncle Jack and his crew proceed to take a majority portion of Walt’s money, leaving him with a fraction. Out of rage and anger, Walt gives up where Pinkman is hiding to Uncle Jack and the crew, as the selfish Heisenberg would do when he can’t accept that these consequences are pretty much at his own fault. He even straight up tells Jesse finally that he watched Jane die, as if he’s trying to even the playing fields after just witnessing his own brother-in-law die. Todd saving Pinkman’s life before he can be shot in the head is an irony in of its own though as we’ll learn in following episodes.

Playing The Limeliters’ “Take My True Love By the Hand” while Walt rolls a barrel of cash through the desert is one of the most fitting song choices for a scene ever. Golly, this episode is perfection.

Jesse’s face gets hideously shredded up by Uncle Jack’s gang, and his life as a slave begins from there on out; he’s even threatened with the fact that they know about his connection with Andrea and Brock. 

Yet, somehow, the episode manages to get better even after all this chaos.

“What the hell is wrong with you! We’re a family!”

Skyler tells Walt Jr. the truth about Walt and they drive home. Walt arrives home, beginning to pack the bags for his family to leave for good. Then, madness escalates. Skyler and Walt Jr. are confused why Walt isn’t in cuffs by Hank like Marie told them he was, and begin putting together that Walt might’ve killed Hank. This forces Skyler to go into full mom-protection-mode and get out a slasher-sized kitchen knife and try to ward off Walt from them. This forces her to cut Walt deeply on his hand. The two begin fighting for the knife and even Walt Jr. steps in to attack his father when Walt has the upper-hand. Walt, in complete shock, learns finally that his family fears him when Walt Jr. calls the cops and lies to them that Walt tried to hurt them with a knife. Walt, with not much thinking built in his head at that moment, steals Holly, and runs his car into Skyler’s to drive away with the baby, leaving Skyler in utter desperation as her daughter is taken away from her. Even the greatest horror movies wish they could reach this capacity of plausible catastrophe. 

But seriously, are you gonna tell me now that Skyler is still the b***h in this situation at this point?

The episode ends with possibly the most sinister phone call to ever be heard in fictional cinema, which is fitting considering the episode started off with Walt’s first, peaceful call with Skyler as a criminal. Walt goes on an absolute rant to Skyler about how she abused his rules and guidelines while being in the meth business, and how she’ll end up disappearing just like Hank if she doesn’t continue to follow. Obviously, part of me wants to believe that Walt had truly broken bad to a sharp 100% pureness rate, but part of me also knows that he likely did it to keep Skyler safe from being punished for his crimes — considering how he had cried over the phone. Walt knew what he was doing, and as surreally extreme as the situation is, he had to find one last way to protect his family from the wrongdoings he had committed; he had to make the police and media believe him to be an unadulterated monster. At that moment, Walter had to pretend to be Heisenberg. 

Never could I have ever imagined a show hitting a level of sheer gut punch as Ozymandias packs. There’s a reason why it’s maintained its perfect 10/10 score on IMDb all these years — it really is the talk of the town.

Verdict: A+ (x100)

So, therefore…

Season 5 Overall Verdict: A+

“Breaking Bad” season 5 is now available to stream on Netflix.

Ranking Every Episode of Breaking Bad Season 4 From Worst to Best


Admittedly, I was never supposed to rewatch Breaking Bad at this very time. I wanted to do some research for my media writing project, so I decided to rewatch the pilot episode of the show to gain inspiration, but as one may expect, I got sucked in. It’s been more than six years since I binged Breaking Bad for the first time, and after years of praising the program like a pathetic addict, I decided to give Vince Gilligan’s hit piece a second analysis. In doing so, I’ve decided that ranking the episodes each season from best to worst would switch up my typical TV review formats, and add a new perspective to the show that I haven’t already preached on before. With that being said, here’s every episode of Breaking Bad’s fourth season ranked from finest to dullest — as if any of these installments are actually “dull” though.

#13 – Episode 3: Open House

Ayy, Fever Ray’s “If I Had a Heart.” Good song choice! 

A pretty eventless episode besides the fact that Skyler scores the Car Wash and proves Walt wrong in the way she negotiates for it. Hey, at least the two seem to be making amends now. And, yeah, Jesse is still a sad boy. Poor dude; his house is becoming a methhead hangout lobby now. Hank has Gale’s lab notes now too! 

Verdict: B+

#12 – Episode 2: Thirty-Eight Snub

Jesse vigorously attempts to party his troubles away. Walt almost attempts to murder Gus until he’s stopped by Mike. Mike gets his kicks in on Walt for putting him through choosing between two sides — and well-deserved kicks, in all honesty.

Verdict: A-

#11 – Episode 9: Bug

Hank singing “Eye of the Tiger” is probably the most sinful thing that’s been done on this show yet. It’s literally more indecent than slitting your employee’s throat in front of your other employees.

If Mike tried pushing Jesse out of the way one second later, Jesse would’ve totally gotten sniped. Dramatic timing be like that sometimes. Secondly, Gus must have the biggest balls on the planet. There was no fear in him when he walked directly towards a sniper with his hands out — he knew exactly that this was just a warning sign.

Walt and Jesse have a cute cat fight too. Gus’s YA-novel-leveled plan is low-key working out excellently. 

Verdict: A-

#10 – Episode 6: Concerned

Yes, this is the episode with the infamous “I am the one who knocks” scene where Walt scared Skyler into realizing that he is the true person that the drug business should be fearful of. 

Gus’s plan is revealed to Walt. Gus is attempting to pull Jesse and Walt apart like in one of those friendships gone split tales in your typical YA high school drama. Skyler goes to the 4-state equator just to confirm her already predetermined decision. 

Mike is confirmed proud of Jesse though! Yipee! Gus’s plan to win over Jesse is slowly working.

“Someone has to protect this family from the man who has to protect this family.”

Now that line was hardcore, Skyler.

Verdict: A-

#9 – Episode 7: Problem Dog

Walt blows up another f**king car. Jesse goes to therapy one last time to get his spill on the dilemmas of “accepting” all possible ends — A-1 acting from Aaron Paul, by the way. And last, but CERTAINLY not least, Hank exposes the living devil out of Gus Fring in front of his DEA friends with evidence galore. 100 points for Hank, damn! What an eventful episode, sheesh.

Verdict: A-

#8 – Episode 5: Shotgun

“Since when did vegans eat fried chicken?”

Oooooohhhhh S**T!

Hey, really dope time-lapse scenes, yo! The shots are looking a lot cleaner and a lot nicer these days!

Walt and Skyler are becoming lovers again; it’s a well-deserved positive-side to look forward to while dealing also with Jesse’s well-being. Jesse and Mike become money-smuggling amigos, and even end up in an incident together where Jesse quote on quote “stops” themselves from getting mugged. Do you think Mike was actually proud of Jesse for it though? I think so. Gus is a smart dude, man, for testing to see if Jesse’s loyalty is real.

And, thennn, Walt’s cockiness gets so big-headed that he implants the idea that Heisenberg is still out there to Hank. Walt really is looking for trouble!

Verdict: A

#7 – Episode 4: Bullet Points

Mike loses a piece of his ear. Walt and Skyler go through a meta script read. Hank share’s Gale’s cursed video to Walt as well as Gale’s legendary notebook with the initials “W.W.” on it. This was the key clue that would later help Hank figure out that Walter White was Heisenberg this whole time, and it’s so pleasing to see it in this particular scene considering how cheery Hank is to share all this information with Walt. Walt played him like a true fool.

Walt has a bit of a mental breakdown in front of Saul. Jesse hits maximum “I don’t care about my life anymore,” angst-mode on Walt, Mike, etc., leaving Gus and Mike to suspect him as an enormous threat to their operation. The acting in this episode is pretty top-tier compared to most; the characters are getting either seriously tied here, or seriously just done with the current situation at hand. Walt threatening the security camera though… 100% pure, crystalized badassery. 

Also, I’ve noticed that the soundtrack here has gotten a lot slicker and a lot less stock-sounding. The compositions are very synthetic BPM sounding, and even sometimes are eerily synth-heavy, yet the simplicity of these styles are certainly enough to rack up an acceptable amount of intensity in a couple scenes here. 

Sonic-cart(?) and chill is a total vibe. I feel that, Jesse.

Verdict: A

#6 – Episode 12: End Times

The episode where Walt outwits Jesse.

I can’t give the episode all the credit, because we don’t learn certain elements about its context until the next episode, but I can tell you that End Times is an excellent effort at keeping the audience wondering. Walt’s story that he conveys to Jesse on how Gus must’ve been the one to poison Brock is so damn convincing and logical that it even fooled me the first time I saw it. 

In addition to this, Walt’s first attempt to kill Gus goes wrong. Welp, hopefully plan B will be twice as badass as simply blowing up his car at a hospital…

Mind blowing acting from Aaron Paul, here, by the way. Did this dude seriously not take any acting classes ever? How???

Verdict: A

#5 – Episode 11: Crawl Space

Why is Ted actually an idiot, LOL.

Also, introducing Bill Burr to the show, yippee! What an entrance!

Okay, yeah yeah, I’ll move on. Let’s talk about those final twelve minutes. Pretty grade-a stuff, huh? I remember the first time I saw this accumulation of scenes back in 2014, I had more goosebumps over me than ever before. From Bryan Cranston’s freakishly convincing performance as a man gone completely insane, to Anna Gunn’s insane guilt + fear infusion look when telling Walt about the Ted situation, and, on top of that, the fear in Marie when she hears about the anonymous tip that the cartel is coming for Hank — sheesh. Sure, it’s a lot going on all at once, but for a season that has been leading us to the idea that Gus will eventually no longer need Walt, well, it seems like there was no finer way to exclaim vigorously that that point is about to make its dues.   

Verdict: A

#4 – Episode 10: Salud

Okay, I understand Skyler’s point that they shouldn’t keep Walt Jr.’s Dodger because they need to avoid suspicion, but to replace it with a Chrysler PT Cruiser? Out of all the cars in the world, Skyler, a Cruiser? Ugh.

Jesse goes full badass mode and bosses around tons of chemists to do his bidding as Gus and Mike observe proudly. Walt breaks down and cries in apologies right in front of his caring son. When Walt calls Walt Jr. “Jesse” though — s**ttt; someone’s got their “sons” mixed up. Walt, later on, gives his son an analogy, in an ingeniously written scene, about his own father to sort of admit to Walt Jr. that he isn’t as good of a person than what Walt Jr. thinks he is.

On top of this though, Gus Fring finally gets his revenge, poisoning the asshat who killed his partner long ago along with his many workers. The worst part about all this, however, could be that Jesse saves both Mike and Gus’s lives in the process of escaping. Is Jesse turning to the dark side? *Dunt dunt DUNT.*

Verdict: A

#3 – Episode 1: Box Cutter

The opening of season 4 starts off with Gale signing off his death sentence, which follows nimbly after the last scene in season 3 being that of his actual death. Imagine convincing someone to hire the great Heisenberg to work with you; now that’s an L. 

Skyler plays detective. Hank’s mineral collection begins. Gus reveals his true colors while showing who’s boss by patiently taking his time to slit Victor’s throat in front of Jesse and Walt, stunning even Mike as well. The best part is Jesse and Walt furthermore have to clean up after Gus’s mess. They may have dodged a bullet, but they’re certainly in some serious s**t now. At least the two get to have a Denny’s cleanse after the affair. Their matching outfits were cute too.

This is the finest season opener so far. “Exceptional,” as Gus would put it.

Verdict: A

#2 – Episode 8: Hermanos

“I got some math for you: Hank catching us equals Hank catching us.”

Hey, that rhymed.

Bruh, Gus Fring is a flipping genius. The way he played off the DEA agents’ questions about his connection with Gale was insane. He had a little planner and everything ready at hand, as if he was prepared for the possibility of being questioned. What a god-tier villain, golly.

Hank is unknowingly out here putting Walt in the most uncomfortable situation possible, convincing him to put a GPS on Gus Fring’s car as Mike stalks them, utterly dumbfounded.

But, most importantly, this episode gives us gripping insight into the birth of Gus’s rivalry with the Mexican cartel — and possibly even the birth of his psychopathic tendencies. These final ten minutes of the episode are exquisite, showcasing a monumentally written sequence: a flashback where Gus and his partner anxiously discuss alliances with the Mexican cartel, ending with Gus’s beloved partner being murdered by Hector for almost no reason other than to send a message to Gus of their power. The best part is, it’s all intercut between the present, where Gus is taunting a crippled Hector, absorbing the revenge he continues to gain from the cartel that made him the relentless, cold-blooded man he is today.

Hermanos is primarily Gus’s episode, showcasing his intelligence, ambitions, and origins in a neatly displayed structure. I don’t think any other episode in Breaking Bad history has jabbed at the psychosis of this character better than Hermanos does.

Verdict: A+

#1 – Episode 13: Face Off

The episode where Walt outwits Gus.

I love how Walt has to risk his life to get at least 25k out of his house just because Francesca wanted it for information, but then ends up not needing it cause Saul is actually okay after all; HAHA. Anyways…

Remember the last thing Gus is told by Don Eladio before he dies? “Once every 20 years you forget your place… there’s no place for emotion in this. You of all people should understand. Business is business.” It’s a line that appears to define the stern, robotic Gus Fring, The Chicken Man persona to say, but not a line that reveals the truth: he is not as entirely bullet proof as we may think. His ambitions have been hidden in plain sight, all along — his ambition for revenge; to win. Him visiting Hector well-knowing that this could be a ploy by Walter White — a man he already has suspicions to be plotting his assassination — is a testament that there are always weak spots in what may appear to be flawlessly designed intellects. It’s Gus’s risk that proves not even the most professional and restrained of men can’t be subsided at times to the desire of letting personal endeavors react into the mix. Gus’s rivalry with the cartel is what created him and Gus’s rivalry with the cartel is what ends him. It’s a fitting and weirdly poetic/surreal way for him to go.

Hey, Gus technically got what he wanted after all these years: Hector looked at him. Oh, and of course, Gus’s death scene — easily the coolest s**t I have ever seen on television, hands down. The way he just fixes his tie still with half his body blown to bits… it’s just… ugh: perfecto!

This is also the episode where we learn that Walt really was the one who poisoned Brock to manipulate Jesse, and the redness in his eyes during the episode’s last scene where he finishes talking to Jesse was enough to tell you that he was hoping to God he didn’t have to kill a kid to win this battle. He got lucky, but only this time. 

Verdict: A+


Season 4 Overall Verdict: A

“Breaking Bad” is now available to stream on Netflix.

Ranking Every Episode of Breaking Bad Season 3 From Worst to Best


Admittedly, I was never supposed to rewatch Breaking Bad at this very time. I wanted to do some research for my media writing project, so I decided to rewatch the pilot episode of the show to gain inspiration, but as one may expect, I got sucked in. It’s been more than six years since I binged Breaking Bad for the first time, and after years of praising the program like a pathetic addict, I decided to give Vince Gilligan’s hit piece a second analysis. In doing so, I’ve decided that ranking the episodes each season from best to worst would switch up my typical TV review formats, and add a new perspective to the show that I haven’t already preached on before. With that being said, here’s every episode of Breaking Bad’s third season ranked from finest to dullest — as if any of these installments are actually “dull” though.

#13 – Episode 11: Abiquiu

What a tasteful opening to the episode. We finally get to see that day Jane took Jesse to the museum. For an episode where Jesse starts a new relationship, we must reconcile an old one before moving on.

Skyler destroys Saul’s logic. The gas station tactic is much smarter than the laser tag tactic, I must admit. Jesse’s gotta new girlfriend — hopefully he doesn’t ruin her life like he did to the last one! 

Why’d they change the actor who played Tomas though? That was super noticeable, LOL. Also, what a coincidence he happens to be the brother of Jesse’s new love interest! Wow, so metaphorical? Hmm.

Verdict: A-

#12 – Episode 4: Green Light

Everybody is just losing their marbles in this episode, taking their anger out on others and what have you.

Hank is onto Jessie though, I’ll tell you that much!

Verdict: A- 

#11 – Episode 9: Kafkaesque

We learn that Walt’s harsh criticisms towards Jesse were actually motivators to make Jesse want to become better. And I can’t lie, Skyler’s gambling story to cover Walt’s ass was pretty f**king epic and well thought-out. Gotta give the lady props! Her no-chill “I learned from the best”  line to Walt was just the cherry on top of such a solid lie.

Verdict: A-

#10 – Episode 3: I.F.T.

Skyler’s Deduction: My husband is a criminal making money for my family! How dare he!

Skyler’s Solution: I should cheat on him with another criminal making money for a family unrelated to me to get back at him! Hey, when your husband is cooking up meth that therefore gives you a perfectly moral excuse to commit adultery?

Hey, at least this episode confirms that Skyler is willing to make the risky sacrifices of locking up Walt’s secret in order to benefit her children from knowing the truth; a truth that could very well destroy their entire family psychologically and financially. At least that was a somewhat true G mother move? I don’t know, I won’t mansplain or whatever.

It’s interesting though how Hank also commits something pretty immoral in this episode, as well — taking his anger out on a couple of criminals unlawfully. Skyler does it, to mention again, with the adultery, all while Walt is trying not to do it considering he’s been attempting to counteract for all the illegal things he’s been committing these past two seasons.

Verdict: A-

#9 – Episode 1: No Más

It’s kind of devious how a whole school, devastated by the plane incident, unknowingly clapped for the return of the man who took cause to the tragedy happening.

Walt tells Skyler the truth. Jesse faces up to the truth as Walt continues to deny his influence to pain. Walt, again, wants to take a break, but all because his family has decided to waddle away from him again due to his secrecy.

Also, the twins are finally in town!!!

Verdict: A-

#8 – Episode 2: Caballo sin Nombre

Skyler: Is repulsed that Walt does illegal drug manufacturing which makes their family loads of cash.

Also Skyler: Is flexible with signing illegal documents to continue Teddy’s tax fraud scheme and furthermore becomes okay with it even though she makes nothing off of it but regular pay.

“Why you gotta be such a… bitch!”

Walt Jr. finally said what we were all thinking about Skyler. Bless him. I know Walt’s your husband, Skyler, but c’mon you hypocrite! You’re living a life of crime on both sides! 

Jesse getting back at his parents by dropping 400k for his old house is the biggest “FU” I’ve seen in television history. What a G move! Better call Saul! Am I right? This episode also gave us the infamous “pizza on a roof” meme, so, thanks Episode 2! It is a little convenient though that both Mike, Walt, and The Cousins happened to arrive at Walt’s house simultaneously just so Mike can save Walt’s ass at the last second. Otherwise, Breaking Bad would’ve just ended right there and then!

Verdict: A-

#7 – Episode 5: Más

The men in the family are getting too obsessed with their work, leaving their wives to panic. Hank is head over heels to catch Heisenberg and Gus has convinced Walt to join the business again with a dreamlike lab setup that could make any chemist cream. TMI? Sorry. Hey, they even play horny Tim Burton-type music over the sequence where he first sees it! Gus’s “man” speech was pretty hardcore too, not gonna lie. Funny how this was also the moment where Gus unknowingly convinced himself and Walt to their own death sentences.

Verdict: A-

#6 – Episode 8: I See You

Jesse gets his satisfaction. Gale gets cucked — thanks to Walt’s love for teaching that he just can’t deny from Jesse. Walt becomes worried but is suddenly saved by the slick cat Gus Fring, AKA The Chicken Man, or better yet, the Poison Master. Can’t believe that all it takes to get your kill shot is to distract some DEA men with fried chicken. Seems legit! However, this makes Walt a lot more aware of Gus’s power and willingness to take full measures…

I love the look of satisfaction Gus gets though when he hears one of his partners/enemies die over the phone. What a badass day this must have been for Mr. Fring. 

Can someone explain to me though what Pinkman’s obsession with Jack-O-Lantern shirts are already???

Verdict: A-

#5 – Episode 6: Sunset

“Call me crazy but, I’m actually feeling good about the future.”

Classic, poor-judgement Walt, ladies and gents. 

And, thus, the shortly lived bromance between Gale and Walt begins. Reciting poems for one another is true love, folks. Also, I can’t believe Marie of all people saved Jesse’s ass. Walt was inches away from being captured by Hank, and he had to put his own brother-in-law through a terrifying panic attack just to get out of it. That clutch old man seriously came to the rescue though. Shoutout to him.


Verdict: A-

#4 – Episode 7: One Minute

Hector seriously taught those twins a lesson, huh? “Family is forever.” Aww? 

Walt confirmed doesn’t like simps — AKA, Gale. Walt confirmed can never stop loving Jesse. Jesse returns no favors and savagely turns down Walt though, but then almost immediately changes his mind with a quick phone call — ayy, 1.5 million dollars is 1.5 million dollars yo; plus, Walt is the closest thing I have to a loving father, sadly! Hank finally realizes he’s broken bad in an emotionally draining scene between him and his wife. And, yes, I must mention the scene we’re all thinking of right now: Hank vs. The Twins. GRIPPING.

One thing I’ve kept from mentioning until now is that Vince Gilligan is so good at even just writing small, insignificant characters such as the gun seller in this episode who blasts off about his sexual partner’s fetishes in front of the two stern twins. I can’t believe that dude unintentionally saved Hank’s life just because he gave the twins an extra bullet. Wild. 

Jessie tough-talking in the hospital with Saul and Walt was just too much, however. I laughed my ass off at that scene. Other than that though, this is a perfect episode. 

Verdict: A

#3 – Episode 12: Half Measure

Okay, that Wendy intro was low-key cruel. Like bruh, c’mon, haha. *Danny Brown’s “Ain’t It Funny” begins playing.*

This episode is just further proof that Jesse has always been the antagonist of this show with the most controlling morals. Him wanting to go A-wall because Gus uses children to sell their product is a pure gesture to how much he respects a good childhood — since he seemed to have a disappointing one himself despite money-wealthy circumstances. It’s a stupid thing for Jesse to do, sure, but his actions have sometimes always seemed self-righteous. 

Hank be roasting the shit out of poor Walter Jr. due to his new-founded crankiness. Mike delivers his impeccable half-measure story to Walt — one that’ll stick as a glaring highlight in the show’s best moments. Episode 12 is truly a feast for the fans of this show, and one that puts Season 3 possibly above its predecessors. 

Jesse standing up to Gus is hardcore, man. Stupid, but hardcore. It’s so unfortunate though to see that Jesse’s initiations to do good always seem to lead into misfortune. Shoutout to Walt, howbeit, with his perfect timing as he savagely runs over the two crime-douchebags who killed Tomas. A risky, yet, totally badass and redeeming move on Walt’s end! 

Oh yeah, and Marie gives Hank a handy in the hospital too. That… also happens amongst everything else…

Verdict: A

#2 – Episode 10: Fly

“You can’t order shit, Adolf.”

This episode is shot quite creatively. I love the seamless fly perspective maneuvers used here. Even some of the throwaway ones such as the POV meant to mimic the brush Jesse uses at the beginning of the episode. Sometimes the exclusiveness of a bottle episode can force creators to think of other outlets to entertain the audience, and the tactics implemented to create the visual presentation at hand are exceptional in “The Fly.” The camera movements here feel very DIY, but in the best possible way. Good focus ins/outs, as well too. 

This entire affair feels very three stooges, slapstick comedy-ish in a manner too, and its pretty refreshing to watch considering how committed Walt is to this fly situation, as if such a miniature creature was an actual, threatening enemy of his. This furthermore feels like OCD therapy for Walt too, as Jesse and him create elongated conversations on either something such as the psychosis of letting things that are physically gone still bother you mentally or something as straightforward as Walt’s admission to failure — plus, the wonders of destiny, paralleling itself all the way back to some unusual events that occurred in season 2. It can come off as “expositional” at times, but I personally appreciate its clarifications, because if these characters were truly real, wouldn’t you expect them to think about these sorts of concepts?

I adore how the ladder scene here too is like the climax of all this emotion piled up, one that leads to Walt almost admitting the truth about Jane right as Jesse is dangerously standing on the ladder. It’s very Mr. Robot 407 Proxy Authentication Required-esc. I can additionally mention that the fly in which appears at the end of the episode CERTAINLY relates to something Walt is currently in cahoots with, but I’ll leave the readers/viewers to figure that one out themselves.

In some cases, this is the sitcom episode of Breaking Bad — but not really since it almost poses as more of a parody of what a sitcom-like show could have as an episode’s central obstacle, but with added realism to the burning heinousness of harmless annoyances everyday humans deal with, and what the simplistic time consumption of it can do to our thought-process as we wait earnestly for it to go away. I’m not saying all sitcoms don’t give us that sort of high-quality commentary from time to time, but many certainly don’t at the level of… well, Breaking freaking Bad

On the laugh scale, this episode so far rivals with S2:E8 as the funniest. Fantastic stuff.

Verdict: A

#1 – Episode 13: Full Measure

Walt makes a convincing deal of two ultimatums to the exceedingly upset Gus — one that he simultaneously cherry picks from both concepts like an unprofessional child. Mike goes full-blown badass mode, using balloons and guns to take down enemies. Walt, Jesse, and Saul plan out their scheme adroitly as they invent long-term plans to avoid being killed by the mighty Gus. The last ten minutes of this episode are sheerly flawless, on-the-curve drama, where Jesse is forced heinously to murder Gale out of his very own nature, just because the badass Heisenberg pressured him to do so and gave him the simplistic choices of life or death. When Walter White tricks both Mike and Victor with a quick telephone call, transforming from victim to master in a matter of seconds, that’s when we as the audience knew that Heisenberg was truly worthy of going up against the powerful Gus Fring. 

F**K, this episode is golden. Crystal clear, television perfection. Poor, Gale, though. Rest in peace, my guy. ;( 

Verdict: A+


Season 3 Overall Verdict: A-

“Breaking Bad” season 3 is now available to stream on Netflix.

Ranking Every Episode of Breaking Bad Season 2 From Worst to Best


Admittedly, I was never supposed to rewatch Breaking Bad at this very time. I wanted to do some research for my media writing project, so I decided to rewatch the pilot episode of the show to gain inspiration, but as one may expect, I got sucked in. It’s been more than six years since I binged Breaking Bad for the first time, and after years of praising the program like a pathetic addict, I decided to give Vince Gilligan’s hit piece a second analysis. In doing so, I’ve decided that ranking the episodes each season from best to worst would switch up my typical TV review formats, and add a new perspective to the show that I haven’t already preached on before. With that being said, here’s every episode of Breaking Bad’s second season ranked from finest to dullest — as if any of these installments are actually “dull” though.

#13 – Episode 10: Over

Skylar: I want you to take some time off of work, Walt. You’ve earned it and deserve to be happy. 

Also Skylar: Shouldn’t you be at work, Walt? I’m genuinely annoyed seeing you being too busy doing the things that make you happy. 

At the beginning of episode 10, Walt asserts dominance in a great scene where he forces his son to drink alcohol until he hurls right in front of Hank — someone he feels that his son has been looking up to too often. That’s about the peak of the episode, but it’s still sick nonetheless!!! Well, Walt telling that young adult how to properly buy a meth lab was pretty rad too — he asserts dominance twice! Also, Skyler is slowly planning to cheat on Walt. Hmm.

Verdict: B+

#12 – Episode 5 – Breakage

Hank deals with toxic masculinity as he suffers from PTSD. Jesse becomes a leading businessman. And, welcome to the show Jessica Jones! That Hank PTSD stuff is great though! Hank is beginning to actually suffer in his line of work to a newly grand degree thanks to his brother-in-law!

Verdict: B+

#11 – Episode 7: Negro Y Azul


This episode deals in a couple animal-related affairs. Turtle man, turtle bomb, pufferfish man, etc. I guess that’s one way to scare the Furries? Jesse’s PTSD is in-bound. Hank gets +10 more PTSD, as well. Jesse finds a girlfriend though at the end! Yay! Hopefully nothing terribly wrong happens to her!

Verdict: A-

#10 – Episode 12: Phoenix

Bros before hoes moment?

Jesse must choose between two lovers: Walt and Jessica Jones. Walt and Jessica Jones’s dad, by some miracle, have a cute “father to father” talk, one that makes Walt reconsider how important his relationship with Jesse is. It’s bad timing though that he happened to walk in right as Jessica Jones decided to OD — or maybe he inadvertently caused it??? Either way, Walt chose to express his love for Jesse’s well-being by letting his heroin-addict girlfriend die… maybe? Or was it an egotistical choice to let her die because “WE NEED TO COOK JESSE???” Yeah, nah, Walt’s a dick.

Verdict: A-

#9 – Episode 11: Mandala

Yo, RIP the man, Combo. 😦

Episode 11 is the perfect introduction to Gus Fring. He’s hiding, but he’s certainly there: an ideal representation of his slick character. Jesse does heroin for the first time — love the shot of him floating. Sucks how Jesse had to get numb on heroin though the moment Skylar had to give birth; it’s almost like this was a hellish punishment for the sins Walt had committed. 

Verdict: A-

#8 – Episode 9: 4 Days Out

Walt teaches Car troubles 101:

  1. Don’t leave your g*****n keys in the ignition.
  2. If your generator blows up, use a fire hydrant, not your only water resource.
  3. Manually create energy by turning the generator piston to restart your car with a broken battery.
  4. Use zinc metals, sponges, copper, and jumper cables to make a DIY battery to power your dead car.

And, voila. Or, just don’t be an idiot and always remember rule #1. 

Jesse and Walt get stranded in the desert after cooking 1.2 million dollars worth of meth. Bad timing. Walt gets a death scare too — twice — but gets extremely lucky with both cases. Now he can continue to break bad! Oh, no.

Verdict: A-

#7 – Episode 4: Down

Ay, this episode is kinda underrated, not gonna lie.

Skyler tries her best to reverse the roles so Walt can get a taste of his own medicine… while he has cancer… cruel. Tensions are rising, Walt hates Skyler. Skyler hates Walt. Walt hates Jesse. Jesse hates Walt. Jesse ESPECIALLY hates his parents. Hate, hate, hate = self-minded loneliness. So much hate and loneliness even pushes Skyler to hate her very own baby. Sheesh. Don’t smoke cigs while pregnant please. 

Verdict: A-

#6 – Episode 3: Bit by a Dead Bee

Salamanca was like straight up “f**k the police.” Or… more like the DEA. 

Jessie plays off his handling of the DEA like a champ. Heisenberg gets his nude scene. And, Skyler is picking up on the lies finally! Now that’s how you follow-up to such a top-tier episode! Problem-solving! The intensity is still lingering on!

Verdict: A-

#5 – Episode 1: Seven Thirty-Seven

“We Need to Talk About Tuco and *dot dot dot* Marie” 

A great season starter. The pure adrenaline of not knowing whether a mad man is going to kill you or your family encapsulated into 50 intense minutes of television is how you get the ball rolling.

Verdict: A-

#4 – Episode 8: Better Call Saul

The opening of this episode is LEGENDARY. Badger is absolutely hilarious and it’s so darn cute that an undercover cop and a druggie were able to have a marginally thought-provoking conversation as dumb as it sometimes sounded. “Cops have to tell you they’re a cop. It’s in like… The Constitution or something.” LOL.

Yep, this is the episode that introduced Saul Goodman, the greatest character in the Breaking Bad universe — you heard me! Hank and Walt have a motivational bro talk. Saul has the best entrance out of any character in this show, single-handedly roasting a DEA agent, Badger, and HANK of all people in the span of under five minutes. And that scene where he gets interrogated by Walt and Jesse — it is beautifully shot and outrageously funny! Good finale too; this is certainly one of the more comedic episodes in the series. 

But did Gomez really ask though to move in on a drug trade setup when the trade hasn’t even happened yet? This guy works for the DEA; what is he, an amateur? Gomez acted like he was the audience there for a second; it’s almost like this show is completely fictional!

Verdict: A-

#3 – Episode 6: Peekaboo

Walt confronts Gretchen with pure hatred , getting his tea out on how his life was screwed over after he left her and Elliot. Jesse is pressured by Walt to threaten their money back out of two junkies with a child. Too bad Jesse has a soft spot for kids and is certainly not the killer type — this line of work isn’t cut out for him; Jessie is just too good of a person to keep getting wrapped up in a world of merciless crime. Then, the ATM falls, the deep-in meth life destroys, and the fault becomes not just at the hands of the dealers but the users who indulge in them. Ayy, but the symbolism here: if you seek crime money, death must come first.  

At the end of the day though, Gretchin is low-key a good “friend.” She handled that situation well.

Verdict: A-

#2 – Episode 13: ABQ

Mike’s introduction reminds me of how The Wolf character was painted out to be in Pulp Fiction. Walt confronts Jesse like a father. Aaron Paul brings out some truly incredible acting here, as he begins coping with the loss of his girlfriend. I like how Walt is still primarily so caught up in not getting the praise he deserves rather than being so proud that his own son went out of his way to make an entire website for Walt to fund his cancer surgery. Like, bruh.

This entire episode, however, begins molding into one serious guilt trip for Walt. He begins feeling guilty for putting down Jesse all the time. He begins feeling guilty for creating this perfect-human image for his son. I’ve always thought the exploding airplane part of this season was a bit “overkill” and exceedingly “stretching it” on the dramatic significance + realism, but I mostly respect the purpose of what it’s trying to say on how indirect tragedy can be sparked from the pain of others — the kind of pain that you may have unintentionally caused in your own pursuit, especially, one misplaced in the crime world. 

And, holy s**t: give Skylar the best detective in Albuquerque award or something. She exposed Walt’s ass hardcore-mode at the end, huh?

Verdict: A-

#1 – Episode 2: Grilled

In-tense-tense-TENSE, as Tuco would say. Is its ending a bit faulted by some convenient timing? Maybe. Otherwise, this was the beginning of Breaking Bad’s A-1 on the edge of your seat, life/death presence that television at the time rarely laid eyes on. Catch is though, this entire episode makes you feel like you’re balancing on thin ice, not just in a couple scenes, but throughout its entire, alert runtime.

Verdict: A


Season 2 Overall Verdict: A-

“Breaking Bad” season 2 is now available to stream on Netflix.

Ranking Every Episode of Breaking Bad Season 1 From Worst to Best


Admittedly, I was never supposed to rewatch Breaking Bad at this very time. I wanted to do some research for my media writing project, so I decided to revisit the pilot episode of the show to gain inspiration, but as one may expect, I got sucked in. It’s been more than six years since I binged Breaking Bad for the first time, and after years of praising the program like a pathetic addict, I decided to give Vince Gilligan’s hit piece a second analysis. In doing so, I’ve decided that ranking the episodes each season from worst to best should switch up my typical TV review format and add a new perspective to the show that I haven’t already preached on before. With that being said, here’s every episode of Breaking Bad’s first season ranked from dullest to finest — as if any of these installments are actually “dull” though.

#7 – Episode 4: Cancer Man

Jesse reminisces the past as he spends a couple days at his childhood home after going through a life or death situation. Oh, and Walter blows up a f**king car in this episode too, so, there’s that.

Nitpicks that put the episode behind: In general, Cancer Man is the most uninteresting episode in the season, with minute plot knack. It’s meant to develop Jesse primarily and showcase his rough connection with his family, and in at least that aspect, it serves its duty sufficiently.

Verdict: B+

#6 – Episode 7: A No-Rough-Stuff-Type Deal

Everybody in the White family does something illegal in this episode — minus Walter Jr., of course. Hank smokes a Cuban cigar. Marie’s robbery is discovered; Skylar nearly gets arrested because of it. And, Walt, well… Walt did more than one illegal thing in this capper to season 1. Tuco steals the episode’s spotlight, nonetheless, and that’s probably the main reason why this episode is rated so highly.

Nitpicks that put the episode behind: the methylamine security guard decides to take his s**t break, which gives Walt and Jesse the chance to lock him in there, at the exact moment Walt and Jesse decide to break in and set off the alarm. Bad writing or is it just Chipotle night?

Verdict: A-

#5 – Episode 2: Cat’s in the Bag…

Two amateurs attempt to hide a body by melting it down with hydrochloric acid. One of these amateurs is so amateur, however, that he uses his bathtub to melt the body in. Big mistake.

It took Walt and Jesse only two cooking sessions to get into deep trouble involving life or death; this is a great mirror image of how even if you want to be a “professional cook” and not a true, sketchy dealer in the meth industry, just being in the business in general still entails you to do immoral things you would’ve never considered committing in most ordinary, legal jobs. 

Nitpicks that put the episode behind: Skylar coincidentally intruding on Jesse at the worst possible moment for light comedic effect. Jesse and Walt walking in right as the deconstructed body drops from the second floor for light shock value. 

Verdict: A-

#4 – Episode 5: Gray Matter

I forgot Jessie leaves Badger in a f**king desert in this episode. HA.

It’s so surreal to think that the following events of Breaking Bad could’ve been avoided if Walt had accepted the Gray Matter job from Elliot or simply accepted their offer to pay off his cancer treatment. Skylar gets the piss blown out of her too while Walt asserts dominance to the cancer situation poignantly in a terribly gone south intervention sequence — which is an A-tier Breaking Bad moment by the way. He does, however, simp literally a scene later and retracts basically everything he said, but his speech is way too godly not to mention still. In the end of the episode, he’s accepted to transition into a life of crime, so the treatment he dreads wouldn’t hurt to do as long as it pleased his family.

Nitpicks that put the episode behind: Walt doesn’t epically powder red phosphorus upon two fools trying to kill him in an RV. The next episode on this list just simply has that advantage…

Verdict: A-

#3 – Episode 1: Pilot

Opening scene perfection, and one that initiates this entire show’s inception. Despite a lot happening in just a single episode, it never feels bogged down by events. If anything, it makes the show right from the gecko excessively addicting. Walt learns about the amount of money made in the meth business, he finds a cooking partner, and he gets in his first jam of trouble. Starting the pilot off with the last chronological event in the episode was a hooking way to get viewers on board, as well. 

Nitpicks that put the episode behind: The firefighters don’t question the crashed RV that came from the direction of the fire and the DEA somehow weren’t able to trace the RV to the fire or drug evidence that was found in spite of all the witnesses that saw the RV. The character Chad’s “chaddily” cartoony presence doesn’t meld with the show’s realism, also.

Verdict: A- 

#2 – Episode 6: Crazy Handful of Nothin’

“Yeah, well, nothing personal, Walt, but you wouldn’t know a criminal if he was close enough to check you for a hernia.”

Cooking meth becomes therapeutic for Walt now. The crime world has engulfed him alas — Heisenberg is born. Walt becomes a badass too! And holy shit, can we talk about how incredible Raymond Cruz is as Tuco? 

But letting poor Hugo get pinned? Now, that’s just too cold man…

Verdict: A-

#1 – Episode 3: …And the Bag’s in the River

Walter truly breaks bad, kills a man for the first time, and neglects the soul all in the process because under the curtains he’s always been a cynical monster waiting for his moment to shine in the light. The part where he attempts to create peace with Crazy-8 is one of the greatest scenes in Breaking Bad history, showcasing a fast yet significant growth in our lead antagonist(?). The imposing flashback scenes with him and Gretchen are just the cherry on top of a near perfect episode.

Verdict: A


Season 1 Overall Verdict: A-

“Breaking Bad” season 1 is now available to stream on Netflix.