Spoiler-Free Review!
Now, this is how television shows should be made!
• Too Old to Die Young is essentially Nicolas Winding Refn’s Breaking Bad/Dexter.
• This is quite possibly the best looking television show of all-time. There are glorious ultraviolet lighting (a well-known Refn trademark) and perfect color palettes; every shot is a treat to gaze at and every shot is blistering with vigilance.
• All characters feature a distinct attribute (even if it’s just the tiniest of things) that are replayed continuously throughout the show’s runtime. This is a very “Kurosawa” move to do. It helps us determine these characters’ central personality. Quite the mature move on Refn’s part.
• Miles Teller—the actor I used to refer to as the “wussy-typecast”—is freakishly good in this. Like…he’s intimidating! Forgive me!
• People who say this show is vastly boring are seriously overstating it. It’s only “boring” if you make it “boring” or if you have the attention span of a dog.
• Nobody makes films and TV shows feel like “real-time” better than Refn, especially in Too Old to Die Young. The patient pacing is clearly simulated to make the audience feel like they are genuinely present in the sequences themselves.
• Episode 5 will not only go down as one of the greatest episodes of television history but also go down as Nicolas Winding Refn’s finest piece thus far.
• We have ourselves the soundtrack of the year! Yippee!
• This and Twin Peaks: The Return are changing television for the better.
• Hopefully, this show reminds art lovers why surrealism should be kept right as rain even in the 21st century. It’s a lost approach to storytelling that’s slowly burned out in television during recent years.
• There will be many theories concocted about what the meaning of Too Old to Die Young could possibly be (especially the meaning behind that ending) and I can’t wait to encounter them all.
• Jena Malone never gets paid enough.
Too Old to Die Young Math:
Volume 1: The Devil = A
Volume 2: The Lovers = A
Volume 3: The Hermit = B+
Volume 4: The Tower = A-
Volume 5: The Fool = A+
Volume 6: The High Priestess = B+
Volume 7: The Magician = A
Volume 8: The Hanged Man = A
Volume 9: The Empress = A-
Volume 10: The World = B+
Final Verdict: A-
“Too Old to Die Young” is now available to stream on Amazon Prime.
Burning the Celluloid 
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